


No Longer Alone

by TiredmoonKid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bi James Potter, Boys Being Boys, Bullying, F/M, M/M, Marauders, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sexuality Crisis, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredmoonKid/pseuds/TiredmoonKid
Summary: Remus Lupin had never been one for big crowds, or rowdy people in general, so when he received his unknown acceptance letter to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry, to say he was nervous was more than a bit of an understatement.It seemed Remus was going to be surrounded by some very interesting characters this year.This is a rewritten story i posted on here and deleted, and now i plan to finish it for real along with others!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	1. Train station

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry if anyone remembers this story it took me three years to get the motivation to write it

Remus Lupin had never been one for big crowds, or rowdy people in general, so when the lycanthropy infected (almost) teen received his unknown acceptance letter to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry, to say he was nervous was more than a bit of an understatement. He was shaking heavy breathing, borderline panic attack and the questioning from his father weren't helping at the moment.

“Do you really think this is a good idea? I know you want to go son, but I’m worried for you, and you know your mother would be too..” The low rough voice of Lyall Lupin ran through the small dining room, small tears found their way to Remus’s hazel eyes in which he quickly wiped away before his father could see, tears were weakness and since his mother's death Remus had decided he would be strong for his father and himself. Now with his voice barely above a whisper Remus spoke with strong eyes staring right past his father and to his mother's portrait hung above the fireplace “I want to go.” Lyall gave his son a sad smile but nodded all the same, he would do anything for his one and only son and if this is what he felt he had to do than there was no way he would keep him from it.

“Thank you father.” Remus turned his eyes down to stare at his hands, his mind racing with thoughts of excitement and fear until his father's voice broke his train of thought, “We’ll go to Diagon alley in two weeks alright?” and without an answer Lyall stood from his place at the table and gathered his things “I’m off to work, stay here and be good.” Remus gave his father a weak smile before waving as his father left.

It wasn't uncommon for Remus to be left at home alone for hours sometimes even days, he would spend his time reading and sometimes the occasional stab at cooking that would end in having to open all the doors to air out the small home, it was no wonder his father left food in the fridge he could just heat up, the young boy was hopeless in the kitchen, with a sigh Remus moved from his spot in the kitchen fiddling with his thumbs the entire way down to his dungeon, looking around he shivered at the deep gashes in the walls and blood on the floor, quickly the smell became too much for his rather gentle canine nose so he gathered the books he came for and left without so much as a second thought, now in his room the smell still lingering on his clothes, Remus quickly ripped off his rather oversized sweater, glancing at the mirror on the other side of the room long enough to notice just how small he really was, but funny enough his mother had always told him it was always a wonder how he was so thin even though his father made him eat so much that sometimes he thought he might explode. 

Both his parents worried about him so much even before he was bitten, it just so happened that night that Remus became the monster he believes himself to be, his mother died killed by the very man that changed him into a beast. With a huff of what seemed to be forming depression Remus plopped down on his bed, cracking open one of his father's old textbooks ‘ _ Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them’  _

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Today was the day it seemed, Remus would be boarding the train to Hogwarts….alone, of course Remus wasn’t angry that his father had to work, slightly disappointed but not angry, never angry, and a bit scared. His father had handed him his ticket and dropped him off, glancing down at his ticket Remus felt more confused than he had ever imagined he could be in his life, platform  _ 9¾ _ ?  Was this some kind of joke? What was he supposed to do now? Remus took a deep breath and began to look around, when he saw a young man around his age with long-ish black hair and a tight eyed woman next to him who he could only assume was his mother, with a deep breath and a lot of self convincing Remus boldly walked over to the woman and in a low voice, as low as he could muster spoke “Excuse me, could you maybe tell me where platform nine and three quarters is?.” Remus could feel regret building in his chest the moment he opened his mouth and let those words leave his lips, the tight eyed woman turned with a glare so strong, if looks could kill Remus would be slaughtered. His hazel eyes widened in terror, had he said something wrong?

“How dare you speak to me you common filth.” The woman placed a hand around her son to push him back as if Remus was a danger “Shoo, go.” The woman waved her glove covered fingers as if she was waving away a wild animal, but it seemed Remus’s look of shock only seemed to anger the women further and her next comment was less than pleasing “Ugh you are just vile, disgusting get out of my sight!” with a huff the slender, tight eyed women pulled her son along with her, Remus’s face fell, disgusting… He thought a lot of bad things about himself but disgusting was one that never seemed to cross his mind. His mind was racing heart pounding in his ears, he didn't belong here no family to show him what to do, no friends to speak of...no one, he was all alone.

Tears seemed to stream down his face like a river, it had been so long since he had cried that it seemed it wouldn't stop, more and more thoughts filled his head, and the thumping only seemed to get louder, the room was spinning he could hear everything and nothing all at once, his breathing began to get heavy and there was no calming scent of wild flowers of hugs from strong arms everything was heavy and dark, unknown and scary. Than everything, all his thoughts seemed to shatter like thin glass as he felt a hand on his shoulder, something warm filled him and he turned to look up at a slightly taller young man with a head full of messy unruly black hair gave him a look of full on concern “Ay’ mate you alright? Ya’ Look like you're gonna pass out.” But before even letting Remus answer The messy haired boy gasped and yanked Remus around completely.

“Are you crying?!” Remus's hands quickly shot up to cover his now clearly flushed face, this was so embarrassing. But it seemed dying in a hole was not what Remus John Lupin would be doing today, oh no for the seemingly unkempt boy grabbed Remus’s wrists before calling out to his mother “Mother! I’m over here!” He pulled a small white handkerchief out of his pocket and began wiping away Remus’s tears, shock clear on his face. “I’m James by the way, James Potter, and you?” The ruffled boy now known as James offered a wide smile as he pocketed the now damp cloth “R-Remus Lupin” 

  
  
  


“James Fleamont Potter!” a sharp shrill voice rang through the train station that forced a shiver down James back, he quickly turned hand still wrapped tightly around Remus’s wrist “Yes mother?” The tall beautiful red haired woman came stomping up pushing a cart with a puffed red face “I thought I told you not to run off without me?! I told you I wouldn't be pushing your cart, your lucky I didn’t just leave it there!” James flinched rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand before speaking up to answer his mother “Mom! I’m sorry okay I just….” Before James could get the rest of his sentence out his mother raised a question “Who is this?” She quickly began fixing up her appearance and looked around franticly possibly in search of the unknown boy's parents “This is Remus Lupin.” He let a prideful smile slip onto his lips as he continued speaking to his mother “And I was helping him, I saw he looked lost and then noticed he was upset so I took it upon myself to help the poor chap!” 

To say his mother looked surprised would have been like saying Remus didn’t have brown hair, but soon the look of shock was replaced by that of respect for her sons rather selfless actions “well I suppose I could let it slide this once.” She smiled ruffling her sons already messy hair. James huffed pushing his mother's hand away “Mom! It took me ages to get it right.” she only chuckled and kneeled down in front of the two boys, her eyes scanning Remus than looking around the boy still looking for the boys parents, once Remus noticed what she was doing he lowered his face and spoke in a soft voice that cracked ever so often “My father's busy, he couldn't make it.” Her eyes widened a bit as she pondered the thought “And your mother?” Remus felt a twinge in his heart, his voice came out slowly hardly above a whisper “ill “ James’s eyes widened a considerable amount small tears welling in his eyes at the thought of his own mother not being around, he stole a quick glance to the red headed woman and blinked away his tears, he knew his father would do anything for her as would he but the thought still hurt, this boy was alone really truly alone.

“Oh dear I'm so sorry” Ms. Potter took his hands and spoke softly “if you’d like you could walk with us, we’ll show you the rope yes?” Remus weakly nodded as he pulled his scarred hands away from the woman's beautifully pale ones, he felt wrong touching something that looked so gorgeous compared to him the older woman stood thinking nothing of it and patting her sons shoulder with a weak smile, James knew exactly what this meant ‘take care of him’ 

And believe him he was more than willing to.

James very quickly took a shine to Remus, he kept his eyes on his the whole way to the platform almost keeping track of how often he would smile if he could get the almost crumbling boy to laugh, His mother seemed to notice much the same and upon approaching the stone wall they both seemed to notice the boy give an almost longing smile “You boys go on through James I need to track down your father.” James saluted his mother quickly snatching Remus’s bag from his hands and dropping it on top of his cart. This seemed to startle the smaller boy “You don't have to do that! I can carry it.” James quickly brushed him off and stood on the far left of his cart “Come on help me push the cart so we're even yeah?” Remus seemed to perk up at the invitation “Really?” James just bellowed a laugh and grabbed the young boys hands placing them on the cart handles “Yeah come on!” James gave a winning smile that died only upon noticing the faint flush that graced Remus cheeks, it made his heart flip a bit in his chest. ‘ _ Odd _ ’

After a bit of fumbling and some over dramatic sighs the boys got to the platform, and just as James was going to open his mouth to give another half hearted over the top complaint of just how heavy the cart was, he heard the most magical sound, Remus laughed. It wasn't over boystus of hysterical just a small almost giggle behind a small pale hand that send James to another world, the way the boys cheeks pinkened up ever so had his heart in a monsoon of pride, somehow in this short time of knowing Remus Lupin he had in no other way to put it but bluntly, become rather attached. There was just something about the boy that caught his eye to begin with, James was no saint he'd seen his fair share of crying kids and don't nothing to step up and help but usually that's because there was someone not far behind to help them but when he saw Remus’s small shoulders shaking and how alone he looked,he just knew he couldn't walk away from him. 

The familiar voice of his parents voices shook him from his train of thought “Fleamont, love I hate to say this but if you wander off again I won't come find you.” His mother's voice sounded firm but he could see the loving smile on her face as she spoke to his father. The man in question was about to respond to his wife when he noticed his son and a large smile broke across his face “James! Making friends already are we?” Fleamont made his way over to the boys hand held out to Remus, he quickly took it giving the man as firm a handshake as he could without giving himself away. 

“Fleamont Potter,, nice to meet you son.” Remus let his hand slip from the taller man with a nod “Remus Lupin sir.” this seemed to make the older man perk up more if possible. “Lupin? You wouldn't happen to be Lyall's son would you?” this seemed to catch the younger man off guard he nodded quickly surprised anyone would know his father “Oh how is the old man? I haven't seen him in ages, and Hope how is she?” Remus’s face dropped.

With a swift slap to the back of the older potters head and a sharp cry of “Euphemia!” The older Potter woman gave her husband a sharp glare “Thats none of your business” Remus sucked in a breath the realization of what had just happened being his fault he piped up “No ma'am, Its alright my father is doing fine busy with work, my mother is very ill at the moment.” his voice kept strong refusing to break under the pressure, at this statement Fleamont stole a glance to his wife then bent down eye level with Remus giving him a soft smile, just as he did this the long awaited train pulled up to the station 

Remus didn't even glance at it as the older Potter laid his hand on Remus shoulder and smiled “Well let me tell you son, your mother is a wonderful woman muggle or not, it blows me away how much you look like her, and your father well John and I go quite a ways back and I’m absolutely certain you'll be just as much of a stand up wizard as he is, he'd be proud to see you right now if he could.” He then stood, patted himself down and passed both the boys a handful of pocket money before hugging his son and waving them off to the train.

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If anyone looked around they would see a mop of rather long black hair walking up and down the train possibly looking for a place to sit but more accurately looking for an individual, the young man had been looking for this other person since he was able to shake his mother, it was beginning to look like he wouldn't be able to find him and with a last ditch effort he poked his head into a compartment in the back of the train read to ask if they had seen the boy when, there he was eyes widely looking at him like a deer in the headlights, his fair skin much more prominent in the direct light and those scars seemed wicked, he was about to speak when he noticed the other boy in the compartment had begun to speak 

“Hey need a place to sit mate? Still pretty empty in here, I’m James by the way and here's my friend Remus” at that comment Remus turned his shocked stare to James, poor thing looked like he'd been slapped “Right on, names Sirius.”

he plopped himself into the seat next to James and they immediately hit it off talking about a million and one things a minute, Remus couldn't keep up and quickly pulled out one of his books he kept on his person, the two weren't even being able to stay on one topic for long, although mids the conversation it seemed Sirius had remembered why he was on the hunt at all, he clapped his hands in a show of remembrance “Hey you!” he pointed to Remus, the boy in questions head shot up from his book looking a little more skittish than he'd hoped “Yes?” Sirius watched him for a moment, frowning “I wanted to apologize for my mum, she's stuck up her own ass and shouldn't have treated you like that, she'll never apologize to anyone so i'm sorry if she upset you.” Remus just sat there looking much like a fish out of water, gaping at the other young boy for much longer than any of them were comfortable with, he finally came to when James snapped his fingers in front of his face “Hello?? Earth to Remus, you in there?” Remus jumped in his seat and nodded “You don't have to apologize for her actions you weren’t the one who said it, but I still appreciate it nonetheless.” it seemed that resolved the two were ready to jump back into their ever changing conversation till the door flung open to there compartment just as the whistle for the train rang out.

A boy with messy blond hair and a rat buried in his jumper poking its head out ever so often to look around, his voice was soft and squeaky from nerves as he spoke

“Hi there Im Peter you guys wouldn't happen to have any extra room would ya?”

It seemed Remus was going to be surrounded by some very interesting characters this year.


	2. First year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus seems to vanish a lot, and come back hurt odd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! ill do better next chapter i promise
> 
> (note- Im stupid so i had to go back to chapter 1 and fix somethings youll probably notice it if you reread it then this

Remus had assumed as soon as they step foot on school grounds the other three boys that had been chatting it up in the train compartment would simply wander away from him and he'd likely never see the trio again maybe at the end of the year, but apparently such was not his fair as James had stuck next to his side till they made it to the Great Hall to be sorted and with the messy haired boy came Sirius and Peter, the lot of them seemed to be a rather odd finish. A wild haired boy with seemingly more money than sense given how much he'd bought from the trolley, a rather well coiffed boy with long black hair who was more flirty at the young age of 12 then really necessary, a rather stout round boy with a rat burrowed into his unkempt clothes at what seemed to be at all times, and a lanky pale mess of scars and clothes that fit him like a bag fit over a washed up cat.

James and Sirius had taken to the entire thing like a fish in water they were obviously to anyone who even spared them a glance excited to be sorted, but somehow, even with all the excitement Remus could still see a bit of hesitance on Sirius’s face almost as if he were nervous but put on a brave face for anyone looking. Remus had no idea why he’d be nervous he himself was almost sure of how everything would go the two would be placed in Gryffindor Peter would go to Hufflepuff and he himself probably in Ravenclaw.

This however did not seem to be the case whatsoever, as names were called it seemed Sirius was up to bat first in their little group, he sat with what seemed bated breath as the hat was placed upon his head, not even a moment went by before the loud screech from the hat was bellowing out “Its gotta be ** GRYFFINDOR** !” the smile that spread across the young mans face made the room light up and Remus found himself smiling along with him to some degree , He had run to the acclaimed table high fiving other that had been sorted before him and older students that seemed genuinely happy to have him in the house, after that time had seemed to speed by till Remus’s own name was called, he was a tad self conscious to stand among so many people looking like he did but he walked to the steps nonetheless and sat on the stool waiting for the feeling of the rather (in his opinion) obnoxious hat to be placed upon his head, now he had expected it to, much the same as Sirius to just shout out that he would be a Ravenclaw, but no such luck it seemed, now don't be mistaken it was a very loud and quite fast process the hat didn't even hesitate to scream his house it was simply the boy didn't expect what it yelled 

“This ones gotta be  **GRYFFINDOR!** ” 

Remus froze Gryffindor? That didn't make any sense Ravenclaw? Sure, Hufflepuff? Maybe, possibly even Slythirin but where did he seem to fit into Gryffindor? He stood from the stool after having the hat removed and slowly made his way to his house table, he spotted Sirius who waved him over with a bright smile, that same smile that had brightened up the dimly lit great hall before, the same smile that was now paving over that perplexed expression and replacing it with a rather fond smile of his own. He then found himself seated next to the smiling boy “Hey! Looks like you and I are going to be seeing a lot of one another.” a laugh bubbled up from the pure excitement in the young mans words making Remus smile all that more and nod “I suppose we are.”

The two boys chatted blindly not caring much for the other students being sorted with some breaks when Sirius would clap for someone getting sorted into Gryffindor, at some point Remus had found himself clapping along with the rest of the table, then some time later the two boys hadn't even realized that Peter was making his way over to them shy smile in hand and a request to sit with them, Sirius immediately agreed and clapped the poor boy on the back giving him a warm welcome, after that Peter seemed to warm up to Sirius and Remus rather quickly. Remus was chattering with the other two when he heard it

“James Potter”

He would be lying if he said that he didn't already think James would be in Gryffindor but there was always the fear he would go somewhere else and if Remus was being honest he really wanted that boy no matter how messy and unpredictable he may be, to be sorted in their house. He had liked him.

But as it would be it seemed his fears were quickly quelled as before the hat even touched his head it was already screaming out Gryffindor, and with that it seemed the four of them would be brought together again and it didn't seem like they would be separated any time soon. It was a nice thought to not be alone to have people he somewhat knew here with him, and as it was the other boys seemed to feel similarly. James was a chatterbox with anyone who would spare him a moment but would always come running back to their little group, Sirius sat unmoving next to Remus and Pete almost as if he were unwilling to lose his place next to the two meek boys, Peter spared no time for speaking once the feast began. eating anything that came into sight and Remus he just sat there smiling at everything around him the castle was gorgeous like nothing he’d ever seen and everyone looked so happy to be there nothing like the muggle school he’d gone to before. 

Not before too long the feast was coming to an end and the boys were being led to their house common area/dorms by the head boy and girl of Gryffindor, the two seemed nice enough but Remus and the boys where hardly paying attention to anything aside from one another all talking in hushed tones, hoping to be in the same dorm room and as it would seem there really would be nothing that would separate these four boys from one another, they were now all getting settled in their shared room, it had seemed that the four were lucky enough to only be in a room by themselves with the fifth bed being empty, there was a silence that fell over the room for some time as the four went about doing there own things, Sirius and James seemed more inclined to decorate their small living space while Peter and Remus were completely captured by the majesty of the place, this did not go unnoticed by the other two and it seemed the reactions would stur a conversation, James spoke first. “Are you two not used to this?” Remus flushed a bit in shame and it seemed Peter did the same causing James to stutter “O-Oh uh no I didn't mean anything by that I was just curious!” Peter was the first to speak of the two he nodded “I grew up in a muggle neighborhood, there's not much magic in my home other than the occasional clean up spell.” James smiled nodding along with Peters words as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, James then turned his attention to Remus “What about you?” he’d just shrugged, “We don't use magic in the house.” he was hoping James would leave it at that but it seemed that would not be the case, that's when Sirius decided to speak up, “Why not? Seems a bit of a waste.” Remus only shrugged again “Not allowed to.” at this the room fell silent again, only now it wasn't the fun silence of four boys settling in it was the awkward silence of four boys who have asked one too many questions too soon.

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There had been a rather awkward air around the four after the first night, and it seemed to carry two weeks into the first month and that's when Remus disappeared at first the three thought nothing of it when they hadn't seen the boy in class didn't even think about it really, nor did they think about it when they went to lunch and back to class, they however did begin to question it when they all returned to their dorm and there was no small pale lad who just happened to be skipping classes, he just wasn't there all his stuff was nothing out of the ordinary just no Remus.

The first to panic was James, he was pacing about the room making the other two equally as nervous “What if he was taken? Of if he's lost and he cant find his way back? Should we look for him? Should we tell someone?” James had stopped his pacing to stare at the other two for answers he couldn't come up with on his own, Sirius and Peter looked to one another and shrugged they didn't know where he’d gone maybe he would be right back of he was showering late who knew. “Lets just go to sleep and if he’s not back in the morning we can worry about it then huh?” James seemed floored by this but reluctantly agreed as it was currently the best they could do. Now as Sirius and Peter crawled into bed James stared out the window wondering just where Remus had gone he hoped he was alright and simply wandering preferably inside the castle as there was a rather unsettling full moon out.

When morning came James was no calmer than when he slept. “Remus is still missing!” he shouted the moment he sat up and noted the boy had not returned at this Sirius sturred and opened his eyes to glare at James for waking him “what are you going on about so early?” James was out of his bed and dressing so quickly Sirius couldn't keep up, ge pulled himself up to glance around and then spotted Remus’ bed still empty and completely untouched,  _ oh _ he thought “He didn't come back.” Sirius felt a white hot guilt in his chest as he pulled himself out of bed, Peter eventually stirred from his slumber after all the shouting and the two would have been impressed that he could sleep through that but now isn't the time 

“What's going on? Did Remus come back last night?” at this the two boys shook their heads almost in unison and a look of concern immediately placed itself on Peters face “We need to tell someone.” he scurried out of bed to dress himself.

The seemed to have no shame as they all walked into the great hall for breakfast and strode right past the table up to the professors seated at the top of the short set of stairs straight to Mcgonagall, the woman in question raised an eyebrow to the three “Do you boys need something?” she seemed utterly unimpressed and otherwise bored but listened nonetheless James of course spoke up first “We need your help professor, our roommate has gone missing.” at this statement however see seemed to be listening “And who might your roommate be Mr. Potter?” Sirius was the one to speak up now, he felt guilty the boy was gone, not that it was his fault but he had chosen to sleep over looking for him it had made him feel like his namesake and he wasn't found of the thought.

“Remus Lupin” Mcgonagall’s eyes shifted to Sirius and nodded “Not to worry gentlemen, He is visiting his mother at the moment she's quite ill.” at this the three boys seemed to almost deflate in relief, they all thanked her and walked back to their table to eat. 

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A week and a handful of days later Remus returned looking rather ragged. It had been a shock when the three boys were sitting around the common area playing chess when the portrait opened and in walked their missing boy. James was ecstatic he jumped up from his seat and made his way right to him “Remus! Tell us the next time you need to leave you had us all worried mate!” then he proceeded to wrap the boy in a too tight hug He seemed to hardly have a moment till he was surrounded by his roommates, James having not let go yet making Peter complain that he wanted to hug Remus too, and Sirius only laughing and patting the shorter boy on the shoulder. Remus smiled this was nice, it was nice to return to something akin to love something that made him feel warm inside.

The boys quickly abandoned their game to take Remus back to their dorm, once there they all sat in silence having a billion and one questions but not wanting everything to be as it was before. Remus on the other hand seemed that this time he would answer willingly “Ask away, I'm sure you've all got questions.” surprisingly Sirius spoke first “Are you alright.” the question caught them all off guard even Sirius himself Remus only nodded and sat himself on his bed, the night progressed from there the boys going round and round asking questions not only about Remus but about one another they were slowly getting to know one another and it was after this night that they all in different ways decided that they would protect one another no matter what. 

Now four months into the school year and Remus disappeared once a month to visit his mother, the boys had begun to get used to it not even blinking when he would just not be there for some extended amount of time, James and Sirius soon became inseparable and Peter was never far behind. The boys had started causing mischief about the school small pranks here and there, they had started when the boys ot bored when Remus wasn't around and they grew from there, eventually they would include all four of them in these pranks that got them all detention where Remus would grumble and tell them how stupid they were. After one particularly stupid afternoon the boys were all cleaning out the Prefects bathroom as punishment for turning the entirety of Slytherins drinks into beet juice, quite harmless but still earned them a couple hours detention.

“Why do we have to scrub a bath we cant even use.” Sirius sighed over dramatically as he usually did, to which his only reply came in the form of a rather frustrated Remus “Maybe if you lot were more discreet you wouldn't be scrubbing a bloody bath now would we!” all the boys snapped their head to stare at Remus looks of confusion as none of them had ever heard the smaller boy snap no matter what they got into. James rubbed at the back of his neck “Were sorry, it was harmless though it not like this is the worst punishment we've gotten through.” Remus growled under his breath and scrubbed at a spot roughly “That's just it isn't it you didn't think now we're all here when we've got homework we need to finish and a bloody positions essay due in three days! How am I supposed to finish when Ive got…..” he let out a long sigh and jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder rubbing it softly Remus turned his head expecting it to be James but was surprised to be staring into bright silver eyes “Were sorry Remus, we know your going to see your mom soon and it's probably really stressful but don't worry about it alright, we can help you with homework and that essay is going to be a cake walk alright?” Remus stopped staring at Sirius then looking to the other too for a moment, he felt guilt drop into his stomach at having snapped at them they didn't do anything wrong, they shouldn't have to deal with him because he was a mess because he was a monster.He simply nodded not wanting to speak from pure fear of crying and possibly outing himself from the guilt of lying, he was so used to it but lying to them just felt so wrong. It felt wrong when the boys bought things for him to take to his mother, when they made get better soon cards for her that had Remus crying as he shifted under the horrid full moon, it was all just so wrong but he couldn't change it so he nodded and continued cleaning and because they were so good to him, and just  _ good _ they worked in silence for the rest of their detention.

That night Remus snuck off as he did every full moon night to his little shack just outside the school and held the cards the boys hand made his mother and cried harder then he had in a long time, the small boggert plushy that James had jokingly gotten for his mother sat undisturbed on a small bed in the corner of the room and it felt like every moment closer to the full moon he cried all that much more, the moon was only moments from rising full so Remus quickly placed everything in the chest in the room below him to keep it all safe from him.

The boys were beginning to get anxious Remus had not returned in two weeks, he was missing tons of classes and as that didn't matter to the three they knew it would bother him, no they were more worried about the implications of Remus being gone for two weeks, they were deliberating over breakfast when the boy himself walked into the great hall looking like he'd been dragged through hell and was still there, James and Sirius were out of their seats almost immediately followed by Peter who hadn't seen him till the two practically ran to the battered boy “Merlin Remus did you get hit by a train?” James placed his hand on his back leading him to the table slowly, this however made Remus laugh softly “I wish” was all he muttered as he sat down next to the other three, James and Sirius on either side of him as if to block him from anyone else the two dark haired boys shared a look that spoke more than any words they could openly share at the moment and with a glance to Peter they all knew they were in agreement, someone was hurting their Remus and they wouldn't stand for it.

After breakfast they saw very little of Remus as he was in and out of classes but that was fine they needed time to talk over the plan and how they would go about talking to Remus as it was, he seemed very protective of his secrets and as this was usually no problem as they all had secrets of their own this one seemed to be hurting him and they were determined to find out just who it was no matter the cost.

Once classes had ended for the day and all four boys were in their dorm they figured it was now or never, James had sat himself on Remus’ bed almost startling the young boy. “Hey Remus mind if we ask you something?” This seemed to make him nervous but he nodded all the same Sirius sat himself and Peter on his bed as it was right next to Remus’ “Look we aren't blind okay, we don't want to upset you but clearly someones hurting you and we just want to help you.” Sirius and Peter nodded along with James words of concern all the while Remus seemed to curl in on himself “Its nothing, there was an accident okay nothing to worry about.” at this Sirius sighed “Every month mate? This is too regular for it to be an accident.” James was the first to see the tears in the young boys eyes causing his heart to feel like it was being ripped from his chest but he tried to say strong none the less they needed to do this for him. Sirius however seemed to notice too and made his way over to Remus’ bed placing his hand gently on the young boys shoulder “Come on Remus we don't like seeing you hurt.” and almost within a moment's time Peter was on the other side of him almost pulling the boy into his arm, Peter seemed to not be able to keep his emotions in check as he sobbed over the small boy in his arms “We were so worried! When we saw you I thought you were gonna fall over dead!” he cried out shocking the other two into the realization that they had also started crying at some point over this boy they had only known for five months but all cared about so much.

Remus broke the moment with a small sob of his own “Please don’t do this.” his voice was broken and it hurt all of them to hear him sound so small when they knew just how boisterous he could really be “Please just drop it I promise no one is hurting me.” Peter had let him go and they all just looked at him there was no way they could just let this go right? They had to help him do something but there was something in the way his voice broke the way he begged as he cried that made them all stop and look to one another, then they understood what they really had to do.

“Alright Remus, we’re sorry please don't cry okay, we won't bring it up again.” Sirius said softly to everyone surprise as he comingly rubbed his back. After that they all settled into bed and lived out the next five months of school never touching the subject of even acknowledging it when he returned injured or the times he wouldn't come back for almost two months, they just kept it to themselves and never spoke of it,to Remus.

Then before they knew it then end of the year had creeped up on them and they were all boarding the train to return home for the summer James had invited all the boys to his place assuring them his parents wouldn't mind and Sirius had looked over joyed and said he’d try to come by Peter said he’d want to but had a family vacation and Remus he had just shaken his head solemnly and they all understood.

After the train returned to the platform the boy had said their goodbyes and for the first time James saw Remus’ dad and for that brief moment he thought about marching over to him and yelling at him, how could he treat Remus like that hurt him like that every month when he just wanted to see his mother then but as he watched he saw Remus smile and hug his father, his father who had tears in his eyes at seeing his son. It was then that he realized something wasn't right and now he had to figure out what.


	3. Second year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to help those who need help but you don't know what they need? Time to figure it out   
(AKA) these boys don't know personal space if it kicked them in the face.

Somehow it had seemed Sirius had convinced his parents to let him come to the Potter household with two weeks left of the summer break, naturally James mother had loved Sirius and his father was rather fond of the boy as well, things were going well until his mother pulled him to the side one afternoon “James dear where is Remus?” at this James gave his mom a sad smile and shrugged “I invited him but he said he wouldn't be able to make it.” his mother nodded seeming to understand and leave the matter at that till James stopped his mother “Mom could I ask you something?” Euphemia simply nodded to her son to continue “What if you know someone who's getting hurt a lot, but they don't wanna talk about it so you cant find out who it is hurting them and your really worried but you don't want to make them upset but everytime you see them hurting it feels like...like your hearts getting ripped from your chest and stepped on.” Euphemia nodded along with her sons words concern coloring her face “Normally people would just leave it alone.” James clenched his fists “But I can't just-” his mother shook her head and continued “But your not a regular boy James you care and I'm very proud of you for telling me and worrying about your friend, but i don't think theres anything you can do in this situation, it would be better for you to let me and your father investigate that matter.” at this James snapped “No! You can't Remus doesn't want us to bring it up again and we promised we wouldn't!” he cursed himself for slipping up but hoped his mother would just trust him.

“It's really better if we handle it Mrs. Potter” Sirius’ head popped around the corner “Sorry for eavesdropping but it's true ma’am he trusts us and that was trust hard earned I wouldn't want to just throw that away till we know what we're dealing with.” Euphemia stared at the two boys in awe, how had her little boy become so mature “I still don’t think it's a good idea but,” she sighed unbelieving she was even considering it “I will give you a month before your father and I look into it.” James and Sirius both nodded in understanding then ran off to James’ room to speak.

“I have this idea in my head but I'm not too sure you're gonna wanna hear it mate.” Sirius started as soon as the door shut behind him. “I’m all ears to any ideas we've got a month once school starts so we need to think fast. Any idea is a good one.” James took a seat on his bed waiting for the other to speak “What if it's his mom? You know what if she's not really sick, what if they just use that as an excuse and she beats his then sends him on his way?” James cringed he really hated the idea of them all getting all those gifts for a woman who may potentially be abusing their friend “I really want to say no but we have no proof.” “Well we have no proof its not his father either.” Sirius pointed out much to James’ dismay “No I can't believe it would be him, you didn't see him Sirius he was crying and holding Remus like he was something fragile.” James and Sirius both sighed heavily 

“Back to the drawing board then.”

The last two week of summer seemed to pass by far quicker than James and Sirius had hoped for and they still had nothing, what could they really have with little to no information, Sirius had convinced his mother to let him board the train with the Potters the morning of their second year. They were excited but nervous as of the very moment they woke up to get ready they were on a time limit, a month to find out what was going on with their friend of James’ parents would get involved and they would likely lose a friend. But no pressure 

The boys were ecstatic when they found Peter at the station and were obviously proper gentlemen when they met his mother and father for the first time, James had pulled Peter to the side to tell him the plan when he spotted Remus walking on the platform with his father behind him, it was indeed the same man James had seen at the end of the year and he was determined to get to speak to him and maybe get a leg up on their investigation. James quickly told Peter the short of the plan then ran off to speak to (unfortunately) suspect number one, Sirius was fortunately caught up wit Peters parents having been a distraction for the boy to get away and tell Peter but with that no longer the plan he was still glad he was the one who would talk to Mr. Lupin before Sirius could get outwardly aggressive with him.

James knew the moment Remus saw him if that small smile that made his heart do things was anything to go by “Remus!” he called out to him anyways just to get his father's attention, he knew he needed to keep his attention on the older man next to him but James couldn't help the way his heart flipped upside down at the small wave the young boy gave him in lue of greeting “Good to see you doing better, you don't look as tired as you normally do.” Remus nodded “Slept well last night” he nodded glancing ever so often at Lyall for a reaction to any of his words when none came his heart claimed a bit, but that didn't mean he wasn't guilty Sirius voice screamed in his head. The older man placed his hand on his sons shoulder giving it a small squeeze then turned to James with a soft smile that matched Remus perfectly “You must be James, Remus has told me quite a bit about you.” James flushed at that glancing to Remus who had a bit of pink on his cheeks as well “Dad don’t do this” he groaned under his breath, James nodded holding out his hand “I am James Potter sir.” Lyall smiled wider taking James’ hand in his and giving a firm shake “You're Fleamont’s son, aren't you? He nodded taking his hand back slowly then letting it fall to his side, Lyall however just pat James on the shoulder and laughed “Oh he and I got into all kinds of trouble when were kids. I could tell you something about your dad.” James cocked an eyebrow “What?” Lyall glanced up to see James’ father then nodded to his parents “You father chased after your mother for more than four years before she agreed to go on a date with him.” James smiled lovingly at his parents he knew the story quite well but that wasn't the point! Merlin he was bad at this.

“That's all well and good but what are you like Mr. Lupin?” James inwardly groaned at the sound of his friends voice, Sirius made himself known by wrapping his arm around Remus’ neck and pulling him away from his father in a pure act of defiance, the one thing the two just couldn't seem to agree on over the two weeks was that Sirius was under the full impression that it was in fact Lyall Lupin hurting his son whereas James suspected it was someone else entirely. Remus had flushed under Sirius’ hold which made something in James grimace but he could visit that thought later, currently he needed to worry about making sure Sirius didn't outright make a scene, well more of a scene but it seemed that the one who would be stopping his over dramatic friend would be Remus himself. “Nice to see you too Sirius.” he turned his head up to look at the other boy that same small smile on his lip that he had given James only moments ago, this too seemed to make something sturr in James but he hadn't the time to think on it. Lyall himself only seemed to smile at the boys surrounding his son “You must be Sirius, I’m so glad my boy was able to make such nice friends.” Sirius could only stare wide eyed at the older man then glace to James, he just shrugged and Sirius let go of Remus to take the hand held out to him in greeting “Sirius Black.” He was almost sure to get a reaction from the older man by his name alone but Lyall just smiled and before he knew it was looking at his watch and telling his son he was sorry but he had to leave.

Remus had hugged his father waving him goodbye before turning to his friends with and angry face that meant somehow they were in trouble “What the hell was that? Were you two eyeing up my dad?” James and Sirius were floored how had he figured it out so fast, damn him and his stupidly observant eyes, before either boy could get a word out to defend themselves Remus was already walking away and onto the train “I can't believe you two, don't think i don't know what this is about.” the two had followed after Remus James calling out to Peter who quickly said his goodbyes to his family and made his way over to the other three, although upon arrival he flinched “Did you just call me over here to get lectured with you?” Sirius gave a thumbs up to Peter and James only offered a shrug. Remus quickly turned on the boys as they entered the train and glared “My father isn't doing anything he's the kindest man on earth and if you ever try that again I’ll hex your kneecaps off your bodies.” All three boys looked at one another with horror stuck in their eyes, the threat was scary yes but even scarier coming from their friend who they were almost sure would actually do it. 

The rest of the train ride had gone much like their first one, James and Sirius talking up the compartment with quips from Peter ever so often and Remus simply reading and enjoying the people around him.

  
  


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Things progressed as normal for the first two weeks with the occasional moment where James and Sirius would split off to talk about their plan leaving Peter to distract Remus, the boys had devised a plan maybe a stupid one but they didn't have much of a choice at this point they had less then two weeks left and Remus would be leaving to visit his mother soon, if his change in mood was anything to go by.

Sirius had been the one to propose the plan to follow the boy when he snuck off to leave, would it get him detention for life sure but he would be more likely to find out who it was hurting their boy. 

As it would seem the plan was put into effect that very night, Remus had snuck off a little before dinner ended and Sirius nodded to James before he followed after him, he followed him up to the dorm where he assumed he was packing to visit, as he slowly made his way into the common are after Remus he watched the boy climb the stairs to their dorm then come back down holding a card Peter had made for him mom, Sirius had hidden himself behind the couch and watched him leave he waited a moment then followed, when he saw the boy walking towards the infirmary he became confused but followed nonetheless 

“Afternoon Madam Pomfrey” Remus’ soft voice was all he heard in the otherwise empty room from the hallway, damn how was he supposed to get past Pomfrey he stood in the hallway until he heard the nurses soft voice and footsteps “Hello darling, I need to meet with some teachers but I'll be back before morning to get you, please do try and be careful this time.” Sirius quickly took off down the hall watching and waiting to see the stout woman leave so he could continue his hunt… investigation yeah that felt better to say. It wasn't long till she was leaving the room and Sirius was making his way back to the door peeking his head in to see the other boy sitting on the bed looking down at the card, something wasn't right. They both sat in waiting for what felt like forever until Remus let out a soft groan and stood from the bed “Suppose its time then.” he made his way to a wall and pressed a panel making a door slide open ‘What the hell?!” Sirius thought as the door slid closed behind Remus, he quickly made his way into the room and over to the same wall feeling all over the wall till he pressed the pannal watching the wall slide open, he entered walking through a tunnel slowly as not to catch up with the boy too quickly till he came to a door, he opened it and entered a house… a shack the young man was looking around till he heard cries up stairs, he took the stairs two at a time coming to a door that he flung open only to come face to face with Remus and.. No one he was alone just sitting on the floor holding the card to his chest and crying.

“Sirius?!” Remus shot up frantic “Get out you shouldn't be here!” Sirius was unmoving as he stared at the boy, no the room it was right out of a nightmare, deep gashes in the walls blood stains on the floor and walls that looked as if they would never come out and only once small window that only let the barest hint of moon light in. Remus was still yelling for Sirius to leave only for him to be interrupted by a cry of pain “Leave please.” Sirius watched Remus’ eyes pleading for him to leave as if something was coming, and that's when realization crashed into Sirius like a wall “Oh Merlin, Remus your” Remus let out a sob as the moon rose higher in the sky “Please Sirius leave I don't want to hurt you.” Remus curled to the ground trying to keep his distance from the other boy, Sirius felt like he couldn't move he had figured it out sure but now that he knew what could he do? Absolutely nothing he was still watching his friend cry for him to leave, he should he really should leave must leave this was a problem but so much of him wanted to stay and comfort the boy even though rationally he knew he couldn't do that without getting killed.

With one last cry that came out as more of a primal growl for him to leave Sirius swung the door shut and ran back the way he came, he ran as fast as he could, he had to find James he had to… what could he really do what would they tell James’ parents would they tell him they couldn't see Remus again would they tell the ministry? Sirius continued to run till he made it back to the common room not even completely sure how he made it back he stopped to breath when he saw the red and gold room and only relaxed when he heard James yell his name “Sirius what's going on? What happened?” Sirius looked up and around, too many people “Dorm now.” he left no room for argument as he stormed up the stairs only when they entered the dorm room did he finally let everything hit him he all but collapsed on his bed and let out a frustrated yell as tears pricked his eyes James was by his side immediately followed by Peter standing before them “Sirius where's Remus what happened?” James’ worried voice floated about the room till Sirius leaned up and gave the two a look of pure defeat “Sirius” Peter rubbed his hands together his voice pure panic. 

The two were watching Sirius with intense gazes that begged for him to speak, so he did “You two have to swear we don't tell anyone what I just saw.” James shook his head “No way we've been trying to figure this out for months mate we can't just-” Sirius cut him off “No James this isn't what you think, no one can know especially not your parents.”James and Peter looked to one another for a long moment then nodded James held out his hand “I swear” Peter placed his hand on top of James’ and Sirius atop his they all looked to one another in silence for a moment then spoke together “I solemnly swear” they all felt the moment the charm took effect none of them would ever be able to speak of it to anyone outside of the room “Now we need answers” James placed his hand on his hips much like his mother did and Sirius would have made a joke had he not been so stressed “Remsu isn't going to see his mother every month.” they both nodded giving the young Black a moment to process his thoughts “He's going to shift, Remus is a..” his voice broke and James gasped his voice coming out in a whisper 

“he's a werewolf.”

“A what!” Peters shrill voice rang around the stone walls “We’ve been living with a dark creature?! And the professors just know what if he bites one of us!” Sirius and James leveled the nervous young man with heavy glares “Are you draft Pete you really think after everything from last year he would just jump someone when he was so skittish he wouldn't even shake someone's hand for two months without looking like he would pass out?” Sirius all but growled at the other boy “How could you be so selfish right now! He's hurting and he needs us and all you can think about is that? Has he ever hurt us? Or anyone at all for that matter?!” Sirius hadn't realized when he had risen his voice till he felt James’ hand on his back “Calm down mate, Peters sorry okay he’s just scared and that's understandable we've all heard the horror stories of werewolves.” Sirius huffed “Yeah.” he glanced up at Peter who was flushed in shame with his head down “Sorry for yelling Pete it’s just, this is Remus not just any old werewolf this is our friend and… and he's hurting and now we know why.” James nodded “And we can’t do anything to help him without getting torn to bits.” Sirius gave a bitter laugh ready to come back with a smartass retort that was cut off by Peters small voice “But Remus is tearing himself to bits” the two boys looked to Peter and quickly noted the tears dripping down his plush cheeks coloring his school jumper. “Oh Peter.” James moved forward wrapping the tearful boy in an embrace “I’m sorry I reacted like that I just got scared I” he sniffled “I want to help him too but what can we do.” he let out a soft sob keeping his hold on James who simply rubbed the boy's back in comforting circles while glancing back at Sirius.

“I’m going to see him in the morning, as soon as the moon is gone I'm going to the infirmary to see him, he knows that I know and I don't want to scare him any more than I already probably have.” James nodded eventually having let go of Peter to let the boy rub at his tear stricken face “Alright I’ll go with you then.” Sirius shook his head “No not yet it should just be me first, I’m the one who found him I should be the one to talk to him.” James nodded “Then we all need to sleep tomorrow might be a rough day, remember before you go Sirius.” James stepped closer to his friend placing his hand on his shoulder “Were used to seeing him after a few days of healing, are you sure you'll be able to see him just after?” Sirius shivered at the thought of seeing him worse than they normally did but nodded nonetheless “I’m a Black I’m used to a little gore here and there.” James pulled a face that was somewhere between remorse and disgust, weather it was at Sirius or his parents he wasn't sure but he would ignore it.

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True to his word Sirius was gone from his bed the moment the sun began to rise in the sky, James and Peter sat in their beds unable to do much but stare at the rising sun, thoughts swirling of their no doubt hurt friend, James glanced away from the window when he heard a curtain pull closed and the soft sounds of crying, he pulled himself out of his bed and over to Peters where he simply opened the curtain and crawled into the other boys bed and held him as he cried, this was all he could do. For now.

Sirius had taken his time getting to the infirmary, he wasn't worried about if he would be let in no he was more worried about what he would see would be able to look at his friend hurt the thought alone made his heart ache with worry if Remus would even want to see him in the first place, then sooner then he had subconsciously wanted he stood in front of the closed infirmary doors, he reached for the handle to find it locked, that made sense but he knew that wouldn't stop him from getting in he swiftly pulled out his wand placing the tip of it on the door and with a quick mutter of _Alohomora_ the door was open he quickly walked in and shut the door behind him locking it once he was in, it seemed his actions had caught the attention of Madam Pomfrey as the plump woman rounded the corner in such a state of disarray that Sirius felt his heart drop to his stomach, there was blood speckled on her hands and sent in the room was heavy with iron that he had somehow not noticed at first now hit him like a ton of bricks. “Mr. Black you cannot be in here! The door was locked for a reason!” Sirius however seemed to disregard the woman completely as he rushed past her but just as he was about to push past the curtain to see his friend he froze in place "_Petrificus Totalus_” Madam Pomfrey sighed turning the boy to face her “Mr. Black please this is not the place nor the time for your mischief I have a very injured student who needs my attention, now I’m going to drop the spell and your going to leave do you understand or you’ll be marching right up to Dumbaldors office.” Sirius held his tongue standing frozen when he heard a soft sob come from behind him, in that moment he felt the spell slip and all but ran to the bed hidden in curtains “Mr. Black!” Madam Pomfrey yelled as she followed after him only to stop when she saw the boy staring down at the young bloodied broken body of Remus Lupin laying in his equally bloodied bed, her voice softened “Please Mr. black-” Sirius shushed the woman and took Remus hand in his softly “Please just let me stay here with him, I won't cause problems.” the woman only sighed and walked over to the young boys bed side and continued cleaning the wounds that seemed to never end on such a small body. “I trust you won’t go telling everyone about this.” Sirius shook his head eyes never leaving Remus’ face 

Long minutes turned to long hours as Sirius sat there never letting go of the small boys hand, it seemed like the silence would consume him when the woman sighed “That's all I can do for him till he wakes, Mr. Black you should be getting to class you've already missed two.” Sirius shook his head his voice much quieter than even he himself thought it could be “I want to be here when he wakes.” Sirius had expected the woman to refuse but she simply smiled and handed the young boy a piece of chocolate “Give this to him when he wakes, he’s quite fond of it. Sometimes it seems like it's the only thing I can get him to eat after…” she trailed off looking to the young man, he nodded “After a full moon.” she simply crossed her arms with a wistful sigh and left the two alone. 

It was almost nightfall when Remus finally opened his eyes the scratchy voice being the only thing to alert Sirius to his wakefulness “sir’us” his sleep slurred speech was quickly followed by a rather rough couch and wince of pain “Hey shh shh here drink.” Sirius had held a glass of water that Madam Pomfrey had brought for him earlier in the afternoon that he had refused to drink on the off chance Remus was thirsty when he woke and now he thanked himself for not drinking it. Remus had drained more then half the glass when Sirius moved it back to let the boy breath, he set the glass aside slightly started when he heard the others voice again less tired still scratchy “What are you doing here?” he sounded hurt and Sirius couldn't bare to look at his face to see his expression so he stared at the cup and tapped the nightstand “Did you expect me not to come here after what I saw last night?” he flinched at the sound of his own voice sounding almost broken but also at the implications of what he was saying he was about to correct himself when Remus laughed “So you've come to what? Tell me that it was nice being friends but you'd like me to change rooms of drop out?” Sirius’ head snapped to Remus “No! Remus are you kidding me! Why would I ever want that I came here to make sure you were still alive because I care about you, you daft idiot! Because I couldn't sleep last night knowing what was happening what you were doing to yourself in that shack and that there was nothing I could do to stop it!” Remus stared up at the other boy at a complete loss for words the only sound leaving him being a soft whimper as Sirius wrapped him in the most gentle hug that reminded him of his mother “I came here because I..” he stopped taking a long breath then looked right into green eyes that seemed to hold more emotion then they should and he finally broke, he shook and tears spill over and down his face “because I don't want to lose you.” Remus could only stare at his friend and for the moment it felt like the rest of the world stopped moving as Remus reached his hand out to take Sirius’ shaking hand into his “Thank you Sirius.” he then turned his head to the empty space next to him and nodded “And you too James.” Sirius snapped his head up to the empty space and rubbed his eyes “What-” then he was just there holding a light blue sheet? in his hand “I’m sorry I followed you mate I couldn't let you go alone, but I didn't think you'd be able to tell.” James gave a soft smile to his friend “What gave it away?” Remus only shrugged then hissed regretting the action “I could smell you as soon as I woke up, at first I thought the smell was coming from Sirius but I noticed it was on the other side of me and just..” he moved his hand in a ‘here you are’ gesture. It seemed James at least had the good sense to look at least a little ashamed of himself but Remus could tell it was just to make him feel better, it didn't.

After they were practically forced to go back to their dorm, the informed Peter Remus would be okay and he could see him the following morning then James and Sirius promptly wrote his (their) mother and told her no matter what they would explain but to postpone any investigation as the boys had it under control.

A week and a half later Remus was back in classes and people were none the wiser just as before except for the three idiots who now seemed it their duty to ask as many questions as he would answer till he got tired of them and growled at them, at first it had frightened the three boys but as the months went on it seemed his growls would only earn him pats on the head or chocolate bars pulled from seemingly nowhere, at first they mostly asked questions about being a wolf what it was like if he remembered the full moons, mostly easy questions till the ever observant James Potter seems it fit to touch the one subject Remus had hoped they wouldn’t well one of two…

“Remus is your mom actually ill then? Is that just made up?” before he had the chance to answer Sirius was already smacking him upside the head “Jamie you prat that's personal.” Remus bit his lip to hide the barest hits of a smile at the other boys expense but he decided he would answer none the less, maybe it was time for the lying to stop at least for them he could be honest.

  
  


“She died when I was young.” Maybe not completely honest but close enough, the room had fallen completely silent making Remus stiffen up and look at the other boys, it was so odd to see such expressions from people who had never met his mother to look so upset and mournful, he heard sniffling and turned to see Peter rubbing at his eyes “I’m sorry Remus!” he whined out the young man was confused at the apologies and looked to the other two for answers only to find the others looked just as remorseful. “Why are you sorry?” Peter was the one to answer thought his tears “All those cards we got for her a-and that stuffed toys, we were just reminding you all this time were the worst!” Remus flinched he didn't think that it would gain this much of a reaction he smiled at the boys and shook his head “Not at all, she loved them” at this they all turned to look to Remus for answers and he gave up a soft laugh “I brought the toys to her grave and I can guarantee she loves them the cards are safe in a box in her dresser at my house for her to read when she feels like it .” All three boys hand jumped from their respective beds and threw their arms around Remus basically causing a dog pile on the young man's bed “Remus you angle!” he heard James cry out followed by Sirius “We just have a sweetest pup don’t we! Remus groaned “don't call me tha-” he was quickly cut off by Peter yelling along with them “We have to protect him at all cost!” Remus could only roll his eyes trying and failing to hide his smile, they were such fools.

Things since the boys had found out about Remus’ (as James liked to call it) ‘ _ furry little problem _ ’ had calmed down quite a bit, the boys would always come see Remus after his full moons without fail, sometimes all together and sometimes taking James' invisibility cloak to come alone late at night, more often than not James and Sirius would try to sneak out at the same time and come together under the cloak with arms full of snacks for the young boy, other times they would come with nothing but themselves to sit with Remus or in some instances force their way into his bed and hold the poor chap till he fell asleep but even as bothersome as he liked to claim the boys were, this was the happiest he had been in a long time, here with them.

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Six months into second year and James was beginning to figure out what he was feeling the moment he laid eyes on a girl with long red hair, she turned and waved to him making his heart leap into his throat he waved back then rushed to his dorm, damn he had a crush on her...and on his best friend?

Now that he thought about it every time he saw Remus do anything it was an odd feeling, he smiled. His heart soar, he laughed. James was as good as gone but it seemed that Evens (Lily) made him feel quite a different way, he had at some point worked up the courage to speak to her for a moment then had mucked it up and put his foot in his mouth, but he had made her laugh and  _ oh god is that what angels sound like?  _ He was starting to think there was a problem, it made sense he liked Lily she was beautiful and smart and probably an actual angel gracing everyone with her presence, but somewhere deep in his heart he still thought about Remus, and how the boy had made him feel similarly at one point. 

In this time when James was trying to figure himself out he had unintentionally started to avoid Remus in any situation that would leave them alone together, he wouldn’t hug the other as much and when a rather rough full moon came and went James never showed up to see his friend, it wasn't until he was being pushed into an empty hallway by a very angry Sirius that he had even known what he’d done, “Are you out of your mind James?” James was floored staring into the other boys furious grey eyes “What the hell are you on about?” Sirius pinned the other boy down with a hot glare and just about yelled right in James’ face “Are you daft you fool! The full moon was four days ago! Where have you been?” James stared at his friend for a moment then thought back on the days and shit he was right “Oh fuck..” He muttered under his breath, he had, had his head so far up his own ass that he completely forgot about the bloody moon “I’m sorry mate I've just-” He was stopped by his cloak being thrown in his face “Don't apologize to me you idiot go talk to Remus, he thinks you've come to hate him now.” 

James had made decent time, soon as he heard those words he was racing off to see Remus, classes be damned. Once he was in the ward he could hear the soft sounds of talking and immediately recognized it as Remus and… wait who the hell was that? James was quick to ditch the cloak and pull back the curtain to see his Friend all beaten and bloodied talking to some hufflepuff guy that was sitting next to his bed, in  _ His _ spot, upon hearing the sound of the curtain Remus glanced up along with the stranger and Remus’ eyes went wide, James stepped in next to the other side of the bed and placed his hand on Remus’ shoulder in a slightly protective manner “James what are you doing here?” The question hurt but he had deserved it. “I’m here to see you Rem what else would I be here for silly.” he gave a half smile to the boy in the bed and felt his heart do somersaults when Remus’ eyes lit up like the night sky but the moment was broken when the hufflepuff boy stood from his chair and waved “i’ll leave you and your friend to it then, it was quite nice to see you again Lupin, I do hope you feel better soon I hear the next full moon is coming sooner next month.”James gasped about ready to hex this guy into next month till Remus smiled and nodded “It's always a pleasure  Scamander, thank you for the information.” With that the boy was gone and James was fuming “What the hell was that Remus?” the boy in question just glanced up at James and shrugged “I didn’t tell him if that's what you think, he found out on his own, he found me in the shack four days ago at dawn, when I asked him why he was there he told me he was just wandering about the forest in search of beasts and found the old shack and then me.” James was floored how could he be so calm about this?! He was about to make his very loud opinion known when he turned his furious eyes to Remus and noted he wasn't looking at James, he had his head down then the words of Sirius rang around his head again ‘ _ he thinks you've come to hate him now’  _ James sucked in a breath and reached down taking Remus’ hand “H-Hey i'm sorry I uh I didn't mean to yell, I just worry you know not everyone took an oath of secrecy in their dorm with two other idiots who care for you.” this seemed to pull a laugh from his rather crestfallen expression and James was more than overjoyed.

The two had sat and talked in short bursts for a while just taking in one another's company as it had felt like he hadn’t seen the boy in forever and it was his own fault that he knew but it didn't mean he still didn't regret it, they had fallen into another soft silence when Remus finally asked him “James have I done something to upset you?” James was quick to answer not wanting to let him think a moment longer he would or could ever do anything to upset him “No! Remus Merlin no, I’ve just had a lot on my mind and i'm confused so I just..” James let a soft breath fall from his lips how exactly was he supposed to explain this. “Does it have something to do with me? Because you’ve been just fine with Sirius and Pete but you've been avoiding me like i'm an infection.” James inwardly cringed at the use of that word and shook his head “No..Yes kind of its hard to explain.” Remus just sat there waiting for him to try, stubborn git “Look please don’t let anything I say to you change how you feel about me.” Remus gave him a humorless laugh “James I turn into a beast once a month I’m almost certain nothing can shock me at this point.” oh how wrong he had been.

“I do believe I might have a crush on you.” Remus sat there for a moment laughing so much his body ached, while James’ face flushed a deep red in what he could only assume humiliation, once Remus stopped laughing he looked to the other and sighed “Okay funny but what really is it.” James groaned pulling his glasses from his face and rubbing the bridge of his nose “That was it Remus!” he was then welcome to the sound of more laughter and in any other instance he would love making young boy laugh so much but at this moment it was only humiliating. Once again he waited till Remus stopped laughing “N-No James really you can tell me what's wrong.” at this James just pushed himself forward and kissed Remus shutting him up and proving his point, and just as he had thought ‘ _ soft lips _ ’ That had seemed to do the trick when James pulled away there was no laughter but a soft whimper than made James feel like he had kicked a puppy “I’m serious Rem.” in any other moment a ‘no your James’ joke would have been made but both boys were sat still staring at one another almost unmoving until Remus’ hand came up to cover his lips, James had no doubt just taken his first kiss considering he had just given his first kiss, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind as he stared at Remus’ red face, but something felt… off ,“I uh thought you” Remus cleared his throat and winced at the pain but kept going “Thought you were joking.” James nodded waiting for him to continue “But uh I see I laughed at your feelings and I’m very sorry for that.” James moved to sit back in the chair next to the bed and sighed, “It’s alright I deserve it for avoiding you when I could have just talked to you, I mean I didn't think I liked you like that but then I met this girl and everytime I looked at her I felt this fluttering in my chest the same way I did when I met you and I thought that I had a crush on you but I know I have a crush on her but I’m confused because she's so pretty and smart and I just want to sit next to her and listen to her talk for hours but I feel that way with you but in different ways you know your smart and funny and one of my best friends and I had done nothing but think about kissing you but now that i've done it I..” He stopped to look at Remus and made a face that made the young boy laugh “I feel like I’ve just kissed my brother!” This only proved to make Remus laugh harder and suddenly James understood the feelings he held for Remus all too well. “I love you.” he blurted out with an outstanding smile watching Remus begin to calm from his laughter then continued, “You're not a crush Rem no” He smiled at the broken boy lying on the bed before him and let out a laugh of his “You're family!” 

Everything had seemed to make sense then, every moment he wanted Remus to smile or laugh to make him happy to keep him safe, they were the same feelings he held for Sirius and Peter they had just seemed to become a jumbled mess in his head with Remus for some reason “Mmm you know it’s probably because you look like a girl.” James had teased looking over the other boy to which Remus gasped and punched James in the arm making the young Potter leaned back in his chair melodramatically and whine “Oh no! Its broken my arm!” Remus could only roll his eyes at his friend and laugh.

With things seemingly back to normal all three boys coming and going as they please to visit their friend James was grateful Sirius never asked what happened he was simply happy it was fixed and now James knew his only love troubles lie with a fiery redhead whose best friend was his worst enemy. But as it would seem he had more important things to worry about, just as that Hufflepuff whose names James couldn’t (wouldn’t) remember had said the full moon had come early next month, so early in fact that Remus hadn’t even fully recovered before it was time for him to rip himself to ribbons yet again.

Sirius had marched about the dorm in a tantrum shouting about “There has to be something we can do!” James sighed they had, had this conversation over and over at this point but there weren't many options for them and they all knew it, well they assumed they all know but as it seemed as a small meek voice spoke up one of them knew a little differently “Well maybe there's something.” Both boys had turned to Peter pinning the boy down with their shared stare alone, “W-Well you both know that werewolves are usually pretty nice to other animals and wolves usually do better in a pack.” James hand clapped his hands together and all but ran to Peter wrapping the boy in a tight hug then pulling him back at arms length and leaving a big kiss on the boys forehead “Peter you bloody genius!” there was a moment before Sirius just yelled (seems he caught on) and came as Peter arms open hugging the boy with so much force he knocked all three of them onto the floor, “You're brilliant never let anyone tell you any different Pete!”

With their new found Idea the three now had to figure out how they would perform this highly dangerous and illegal spell without getting caught (by Remus) or dying. James had taken to the library that very night under his cloak while Sirius dug through his trunk with books from his parents that were bound to have something helpful everything in those books was illegal, now with a stack of stolen library books and some old Black family books the three boys got their start, their sleepless night turned to sleepless weeks and before they knew it the school year was coming to an end and the only information they had was how deadly it could be if done wrong. “Seems we’ll have to pick this secret study up after summer.” Peter huffed somewhere between frustration and sadness that they were nowhere closer to helping their friend, the other two shared this sentiment but James smiled “That is unless you boys would like to spend some time in the Potter household and it’s quite extensive library.”

Now it seemed they had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please forgive me I know Newt wasn't in school with them but I just think they would make lovely friends


	4. Third Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys do some Illegal stuff  
Sorry this ones so short im hoping to get to the good stuff soon

It had been a long time coming, the three boys were already well into their third year and seemed to be making brilliant progress with the help from one amazing Lily Evens who had approached the three in the library one afternoon and after glancing at their books and notes she didn't even blink at them and sat herself next to James and Peter all but snatching the quill right out of Peters hand and rearranging their notes “There, you lot are more likely not to die now, and do make sure Remus doesn't get hurt or I may be forced to hex your ears onto your asses.” The boys were far too stunned to even ask how she knew but they were all more than happy to accept her help, and James was more than happy to spend more time with the girl he had fallen quite hard for, things were going great the hardest thing had been keeping everything a secret from Remus as the boys had known he would disapprove. When the boys weren’t trying to figure out how to break the law they were pulling pranks, well more accurately James was terrorizing one student by the name of Severus Snape it had quickly become clear to them why he was doing it, Snape was close to Lily and James was brewing with some rather ugly jealousy, in his defence Remus did often times try to stop him of counter hex the young slytherin boy, but as it was Remus was not always with him when it would happen and therefore couldn't stop him and news of his little bouts of ‘pranks’ quickly got back to Lily herself and it was a surprise to no one when Lily came storming into the common room one afternoon after James had gone a bit too far and send Snape to the hospital wing, Remus and the rest of the boys winced at the sound of Lily’s hand cracking across James’ face sending his glasses across the room. Naturally Sirius was the first to rise to James’ defense, Peter had scurried to pick up the glasses before anyone could ruin them all while Remus simply glanced up from his book to lock eyes with Lily momentarily her glare burned hot. 

“Afternoon Lily.” he had nodded to the girl trying not to crack a smile at the looks of surprise on his friends faces “What James did you really expect anything different?” Lily’s glare softened at looking at her friend “Remus you need to get better friends.” and with that she turned and rushed out of the common area, James had turned on him with a look of betrayal “How could you Rem! Are you taking snivillus’ side now?” Remus only rolled his eyes and closed the book he had lost interest in its pages ages ago “No, but I don't approve of my friend tormenting a student over petty jealousy, and my other two friends to encourage this kind of behaviour.” James opened his mouth to speak but Remus held up a finger and leveled the boys with a glare that sent a shiver down their spines “Not one word Potter, you know what your doing is wrong, so cut it out.” Remus hadn’t even waited for a response before he was up and going to their dorm, the three were almost too busy being scared to remember that some of their ‘_ mission moony _’ books were still lying about, the three jumped from their spots and raced past Remus and into the room quickly cleaning up any evidence before the young man even made it up stairs. When he opened the door, he barely spared the other three a glance “Don’t bother hiding it now, I’ve already see your weird books.” panic quickly set in. No! He couldnt find out now they were getting so close to a breakthrough and now it would be so much harder without Lily! (James refused to blame himself) “Look if you're going to leave your porn about just stack it neatly okay?” and just as soon as the panic came relief flushed through all three boys at once they definitely needed to be more careful, Remus had placed his book down grabbed a small piece of chocolate from a small metal container then stepped out “Don’t kill anyone while I'm gone alright.” and with that he was gone, they all let out a collective breath and looked to one another they knew they needed to speed this process up and much to James dismay now that he had pissed off Lily they had to go to the only other friend that knew about Remus for help.

“But I hate him!” James had whined as he and Sirius went to the school ground where they would no doubt find the exact hufflepuff they were in search for, Sirius had only laughed at his expense “Well maybe you shouldn't have pissed off Evans and maybe we wouldn't need him.” James groaned louder “How do we even know we can trust him? That he won't just turn us in?” Sirius just shushed his friend as the rounded the courtyard, it was odd he was normally there but that didn’t mean they could just give up. They had searched for the better part of an hour before they settled for just asking, Sirius quickly found his cousin figuring the busy butterfly she was would know “Tonks! Got a question for you, you know where Scamander is?” The lavender haired girl laughed and leveled her cousin with a look “Wait you're not joking, you didn't know? He got expelled for trying to sneak a baby dragon into the castle the first week back.” Sirius sighed loudly but thanked her, Well fuck.

“You need to apologize to Evans right now and do whatever she says mate we need to get this spell ball rolling like two months ago.” James groaned rolling about his bed “You think I don't know that, If only we could get Remus to look at it, would probably be finished already! And you know there's no way I’ll apologize to Snivellus!” they all sighed this was gonna be a hell of a school year.

James and Peter were leaned on one another reading one of their many stolen books for ‘_ Mission moony _’ that was taking far longer than any of them could have hoped for they needed to figure this out now but without the help of Lily they seemed to be at a rather pregnant pause, James had thought it over and over if he just fixed it she could help them again but the thought of Severus made his skin crawl, He knew his friends were right he should apologize to Lily and see how he could fix the situation, at this point it wasn't for romance it was for Remus. With that thought in mind James closed his book causing Peter to give his friend a confused look “tired Jamie?” he shook his head placing his book in their hiding spot “No we need Lily’s help, I have to apologize to her.” Peter gave him a kind smile and nodded “Want me to come with you?” James nodded and took the other boys book putting it next to his then closing the chest “So what if she says no?” James groaned he had thought of that yes but he couldn’t blame Pete for asking “Then I’ll tell her it's not for me it's for Remus, I mean she likes him yeah? Its bound to work ...maybe.”

It had not worked, not even in the least bit, no James never even got to apologize. James and Peter had found Lily out on the grounds with Snape and he was about to turn tail and run till Peter stopped him “Wait James look!” the young Potter just sighed and turned to see Lily and Snape … and oh Merlin Bellatrix. She had Lily pinned to a tree her want pushed harshly into her pale throat her voice loud enough to shatter glass “Cute little thing you are too bad you're a half breed.” James sneered who the hell did she think she was! And why the hell was Snape just standing there not saying anything, James was already storming over to the little cluster when he heard it “Leave it Bellatrix, she's just another dirty _ mudblood” _ James felt rage boiling in his blood wand forgotten in his robes he stalked right up to Snape and punched him in the face, “Don't _ you _ dare ever call her that again you slimy ball of grease!” Snape had stared up at James eyes wide, there was just a moment of triumph until there was just pain he had hardly hear it before he was withering on the ground, Bellatrix’s voice rang in his ears “ _ Crucio _” James could hardly hear anything over his own blood curdling screams of pain, could hardly see the cruel smirk on Snapes face as he stood and the two stared down at James watching him wither in pain, through the haze of pain James briefly wondered if this was how Remus felt on every full moon, but then the pain was gone and he just laid in the grass unable to move vision blurry then nothing. 

He later woke to the sounds of yelling, he immediately knew it was Sirius and Remus “This is bullshit! She shouldn’t just be able to use a forbidden curse and walk off scot free just because she’s a Lestrange!” Sirius had been the one yelling, Remus was merely trying to talk over Sirius at this point “You don't think I know that! But she's your cousin you know better than anyone she’s untouchable!” there was a groan James was sure came from Sirius “No Remus I’m not letting her just get away with this, you're right she my family I’ll deal with her.” there was a growl like he had never heard before, it was deep rough and primal “Sirius I will hex you to a fucking tree if you even step so much as a foot near her.” James huffed a dry laugh and cracked his eyes open regretting it as soon as a harsh pounding settled in the from of his skull. “Potter?” James groaned looking to his side to see red hair and tearful green eyes, his voice came out no more than a croak, she hurriedly handed him a glass of water and helped him sit up “Remus, Black he’s awake.” The curtain was quickly pushed aside and he was wrapped in three sets of arms “You fucking fool, what were you thinking!” Sirius all but yelled as he pulled away Peter and Remus still stuck to him like glue, next to release him was Remus albeit a little reluctantly “Shut up Sirius. James are you alright any pain? Here” He pulled out an unopened bar of chocolate and opened it breaking off a piece and handing it to him, James took it with a smile “I’m alright just a headache.” Peter was still holding James head burrowed in his neck “Pete im okay buddy, I'm really sorry you had to see that.” Peter only shook his head letting go of James and turning to hug Remus, “He’s in shock when we found him he wouldn't let anyone get near you.” Remus whispered as he just held his friend rubbing small circles on his back. Sirius had been pacing practically pulling at his hair in frustration “Seriously James, what the hell made you think going up against that nut case was a good idea?!” James simply took a bite of the melting chocolate in his hand and shrugged “Dunno” This seemed to enrage Sirius even more “You don’t know! She could have killed you James and gotten away with it!” 

“He was defending me.” all heads snapped to Lily who had been otherwise silent just watching the boys interact. “What the hell-” Remus stopped Sirius with a glare “what do you mean Lil?” she glanced at James then to Remus “Snape ….he was” she shrugged feeling the hot shame of tears building in her eyes “He called me a mudblood and James punched him.” she quickly rubbed her eyes and looked down not wanting to see the way these boys looked at her. Remus whispered something to Peter and he nodded sitting down in the chair next to the bed “Lily” Remus’ voice was soft as he approached her, he said nothing else as his arms circled around her, she had expected to push him away and excuse herself but the moment she felt his arms around her she felt safe, and then she began to cry.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

After everything that happened, it seemed that Lily had somewhat forgiven the boys and began to help them with their project yet again from time to time, but just as before, it seemed that they were stuck unsure of where to get all the right information so they wouldn't die of get permanently mutated for life. It wasn't till a rather haggard looking Lily came rushing down the stairs of the girls dorm into the common area parchme in hand all but shouting for the three boys to “Get off your asses and get over here!” They responded immediately lucky Remus was already in the library for the evening having gotten into a fight with Sirius over merlin knows that morning. He intended to apologize later he was stressed and he knew the moon was soon no one blamed Remus, but the point being Lily was slamming her parchment on the table with a smirk on her face “Read up boys this is step by step down to the, potential unfortunate disfiguring.”

The three boys all stared down at the parchment in mock horror, oh merlin they were doing this and they were doing it soon. They all thanked Lily over and over Sirius and Peter ran up to their dorm leaving James alone with the girl “Thank you Li- Evans really this means a lot now we may actually be able to do something for Remus.” He gave the girl a heartfelt smile that made her heart race, she just nodded but smiled back “I care for Remus, and I suppose I do care if you lot end up looking like lab experiments.” James had no idea what she was talking about but just smiled wider at the fact that she was smiling “Thank you again, now I've got to go before they die without me, get some sleep Evans you deserve it!” Lily could only roll her eyes a return to her dorm to do whatever it was girls who pinned over idiots did.

James entered the room expecting to see two excited roommates but found two boys groaning on the floor “This sucks!” Sirius said as he held out the page for James to read, and he must admit yes it did indeed suck

_ <strike> Animagus </strike> _

** _Mission Moony_ **

**(You idiots better not die, don’t skip anything or i’ll kill you myself)**

  * **holding the leaf of a Mandrake in your mouth for an entire month**
  * **Then, at the next (visible) full moon, put their spit-soaked leaf in a phial within range of the moon's pure rays. If the moon's hiding behind clouds or something where it's not directly visible, they have to start over**
  * **the potion needs some other ingredients, dew that hasn't been exposed to sunlight or human feet for a full seven days.**
  * **they need to keep their potion hidden and out of sunlight. Sunlight is VERY bad for the potion**
  * **An electrical storm dictates the next step, as the potion can't be taken until storm lightning strikes. Every day that they're waiting for the storm, at sunrise and sunset they have to say. "Amato Animo Animato Animagus." This can go on for days or weeks or months.**
  * **When the lightning finally comes, you should find a mouthful of blood-red potion in the crystal phial. Place your wand tip to your heart, chant “Amato Animo Animato Animagus” and then drink the potion. This is the point of no return, when you feel a fiery pain, an intense double heartbeat, and a creature will come into your mind into which you will transform.**

James sighed as he set the sheet down to look at his friends “This is it guys, fulls in two days time we need to do this now or never. Are we in this or not?” Sirius scoffed “I’m in no matter what, If you two dont want to do this that's fine, it's a risk but I’m not letting him do this alone forever.” James smirked at his friend and pushed his shoulder lightly “You know i'm all in man, like im just gonna let you go get eaten all alone someone here has to be the alpha of the pack.” Sirius rolled his eyes and both boys looked to Pete who was pulling small bottles of herbs from his bag “It was my idea, I'd be a bit of a dick if I backed out now. Not to mention I’ve got all the stuff we need right here.” He smiled at his two friends who gave him warm looks “I love you Pete!” James yelled as he held up the page and glanced at Sirius “Now you can say it mate.” Sirius’ face had split into a huge smile “Now! Commencing Mission Moony!”

Now a week and three days till the end of term the three boys were losing heart, would they really have to keep waiting for this stupid storm! All the other steps had gone flawlessly! The leaf had been easy, don't eat of drink too quickly always keep it under your tongue when speaking and before they knew it, it was time for step two and three were simple enough, with heavy hears all the boys placed their viles on the windowsill when the moon shone into their room, they had all looked to one another knowingly the looked to Remus’ bed, they wasted no time in getting three postians together with the ingredients Peter gathered and everything seemed to be going great until the storm…

“If this bloody storm doesn't come I’m going to scream!” Sirius groaned pulling at his hair, James nodded “I’m not sure if Remus is getting worse of it’s just getting harder to see him like that knowing were so close.” They were sat in the common area Sirius and James had sat themselves on the floor to play wizard's chess and Peter was sitting across the room with Lily going over his positions homework. Lily had wanted to do it with Remus but he was still in the infirmary from last moon and that was almost six days ago, James and Sirius were sat in defeat when they heard the rain beginning to patter on the castle, They yelled for Peter who was already out of his seat apologizing to Lily who only waved them off, she knew. As soon as they reached the room with the door closed and spelled locked they all jumped out as the first sting of electricity shot through the sky lighting up the entire room. The three didn't even spare one another a glance as they all tore through their things grabbing at the position and indeed just as Lily had written it was a deep blood red, Sirius snached his wand from his bed and turned to the other two all eyes on the red viles in all of their hands “It’s time.” James’ voice had taken a hard edge to it, Sirius noted it sounded like his father when he was scolding the boys for flying in the house. Peter was visibly shaking as he sat down on the floor in front of the two “Okay g-guys we know the next step, unimaginable pain.” the two joined him and James offered a laugh “I’ve been under crucio somehow I think I’ll be okay.” Sirius in turn offered a humorless laugh and without thinking said “Yeah me too” James’ eyes widened at this and Peter looked worried “What, Sirius what do you mean you too.” Sirius cursed himself for the slip of information this wasn't the time to worry about his abusive home life it was time to drink this position and help Remus! He shrugged it off “Nothing mate don’t worry about it, we have more important things to worry about.” James stared him down “Sirius we are talking about this later.” Sirius merely nodded with no response then they all stopped to stare at one another “Should we go get Lily?” Peters soft voice said “Like shes way smarter than any of us and maybe we did something wrong so…” James shook his head “She shouldn’t have to see this and if we get caught I don’t want her involved at all.” Sirius nodded he had to agree the less people involved the better “I'll go first.” he pulled the cork off the vile and took a breath, James hand quickly came out and held his wrist “No let me, If it doesn't work then we’ll know.” Peter and Sirius watched James place his wand to his heart and mutter “_ Amato Animo Animato Animagus _” then he uncork his own and with a swift moment downed the red liquid, he sat there for a moment the air in the room stilled 

James sighed rolling his shoulders back “Back to step one I gues-” his shrill scream pierced the otherwise silent room, he fell back writhing in pure agony tears spilled in waves from his eyes as he felt the second heart beat, beat beating in his ears louder than even his own screams and then it felt like his bones were breaking everything was shifting the pain was melting into the very fabric of his skin and then it stopped, gone away like it was never there to begin with and he was staring at two shocked faces, but opening his mouth to speak no words came out only a strangled cry “James you!” Sirius gaped “Your a bloody stag mate!” James took and experimental step and ‘_ oh god oh god he was a stag! _’ he pranced about the room a few times before he shifted back a bright smile on his face, “I did it! Oh man that was painful but I did it!” Sirius and Peter looked to one another then nodded “I-I’ll go next” Peter did the same as James had done repeating the spell then downing the vile, they could tell he was scared but the fact that he was doing this at all put faith in the boys that Pete was a proper Gryffindor. Just because they knew the screams were coming didn’t make it any easier to hear, to see their friend in so much pain and knowing the couldn’t help him, that they were doing this for something more it was the only comforting thought, Peter had rolled to his side body wrapped up in itself as he cried out in pain, then the next thing they knew Peter was gone and there sat a little rat that look far more panicked then a rat really should, James scooped up the little animal and laughed “Pete my boy your a rat.”

After a bit of scurrying about Peter shifted back with a sad look on his face, James was quick to comfort him “What's wrong Pete you did it, That's amazing.” He could only shrug “I’m a rat, sure i did it but I still can’t help, I’m just a rat.” James rolled his eyes “Peter you don’t know that, you may end up the most useful of us all.” This seemed to lift the boys mood a tad then they both turned to look at Sirius “Suppose that makes it my turn then..” he hesitated only a moment then just as the other two he placed his wand to his heart and muttered the spell then drank the liquid, he sat still a moment waiting for the pain, he placed his hand over his heart feeling the second beating before he felt his blood boil in his veins, he hunched forward crying out, this wasn't like it was at home he thought ‘_ this isn't your mother this isn't your mother, _ ** _this isn't your mother_**’ “I’m sorry mother” he cried as he curled around himself, there was so much pain and then it was gone, like nothing had happened and he way laying on the ground, eyes closed there was a hand on his had soothing nice, he tilted his head up and sniffed it, James “Sirius, look at me” he opened his eyes to see his best friend looking down at him with worry “You're a dog” he offered a small smile “A dog? James that putting it lightly he a bloody Grim!” James hisses at Peters words but he didnt stop “I didn’t even think people could be a Grim, is basically the grim reaper.” Sirius looked up at the two‘ _ Great your basically the worst. _’ he huffed before shifting back with a grimace “Well this blows.” James placed a hand on his arm “Sirius we need to talk about something.” the young Black froze, he knew where this was going and he wasn't entirely sure he was ready for that yet. James didn’t care “Is everything okay at home? Because you know you are always welcome at my place, no matter what of how long you need to be there.” Sirius pulled his arm away and nodded “Yeah Jamie things are great and uh thanks appreciate it.” it seemed like James wouldn't be dropping the subject thought until they heard the door open and in walked Remus “Uh… Have I interrupted something?” he then glanced down “What is all this? What have you lot been doing?” They all panicked and scattered to clean up at once “Nothing Moony!” “Peter!” “Pete!” Remus rose a brow at the name “Moony?” Sirius had jumped to explain given the name was his idea “Well I was just thinking we could use some nicknames for one another you know and your name means moon moon” he stifled a laugh “So yeah moony” James laughed “That's why you picked that?” his laugh was cut off by a groan of pain when Sirius turned around and kicked James in the leg “Shut it you, it’s brilliant and cute, just like Remus” Remus only rolled his eyes and stepped around his idiots and to his bed, James had stepped over the mess to Remus’ bed “So how are you feeling? Better i would say given your here tonight.” Remus seemed to freeze up and look at the other “Uh yeah I’m feeling much better actually, like nothing even happened.” “Now don’t lie moony” Sirius sat on the other side of the bed “And yes I am going to start calling you that before you ask, I saw your eyes shift and you rubbed the back of your neck.” James laughed along with Peter “Caught!” they both sang out of tune making Remus shoot them with a glare “Yes okay I snuck out because it’s the last week of school and I wanted to spend it with you stupid idiots and not lying in a hospital bed!” they all stopped to stare at him, then at one another and any lingering thoughts of regret the boys may have had over what they had just done were all gone like they never existed at all, this was the right choice.

Now they just needed to get Remus to understand that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys are enjoying reading this as much as i am writing it I know that there have been some inconsistency's but they are now fixed


	5. Fourth year (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes! part 1 lost of important things to come in the second half of fourth year ! but I'm going to be taking a short break from writing but I'll be back on it very soon!

“No absolutely not James! are insane I’ll kill you, all of you no it's not happening”

“Moony come on it’ll be okay we have a really good idea too if you would just listen to us then maybe you would know.”

“Sirius if you don’t think I won’t punch you right now you are so wrong, I said no and the answer will stay no, None of you are coming with me to the shack ever.” 

“But Moony!” The three boys all yelled at once Remus could only sigh as he stepped out of James’ room, all four boys had finally come together at the Potters house with Remus being there only a week after the full moon leaving him more tired than the other three but still happy to be there, well until they brought up the idea of being with him for the fulls, it was an obvious no they were out of their minds if they thought he would agree. If he was being honest the idea was almost comforting that they card for him enough to want to be there but still he would never let it happen. Although it seemed that the conversation would not end there, they all followed Remus out of James’ room to the kitchen where Mrs. Potter sat looking over a few papers when she noticed the boys coming in “Boys, have you come crawling back for that tea I offered?” Remus smiled and nodded “That would be lovely ma’am.” she smiled making to get up but he stopped her “No need Mrs, I can make it you look busy.” James huffed as he sat next to his mother “Don’t give me that face mom he doesn’t let me help him either.” She had rolled her eyes returning to her papers when Peter slid up next to James and Sirius went to try to help Remus, help being the keyword as he shooed him away and grabbed the kettle only to drop it with a shout and stumble back, Everyone in the room was on their feet instantly, Sirius had grabbed Remus’ hand examining the boiling skin. “Oh my I didn’t think it was still hot, love are you alright?” Mrs.Potter's voice rang with concern as she rounded the bar wand in hand “Let me heal that for you.” Remus had snatched his hand away holding it protectively to his chest and shook his head “I’m quite alright ma’am, should just rinse it and I’ll be okay.” “Nonsense let me see it” the pure look of panic that crossed over Remus’ face had all the boys jumping into action, Sirius took hold on his hand and led him to the bathroom while James stopped his mom from following them “Mom listen remember how we said second year that we’ve got everything under control, believe me when I say that we've got this, right Wormy?” Peter smiled nodding to him then to his mother “We’ve got it all under control.” his mother leveled him with a look then grabbed the tea kettle “James Potter what is going on.” James froze ‘ _ Shit _ ’

In the bathroom Sirius kept his hand on Remus’ wrist albeit a tad to tightly till the door shut “Shit i'm sorry Moony I should have remembered they have a lot of silver in the house.” upon pulling his hand away Sirius quickly noticed the blood on his fingers and the blood that now seemed to be running down the others hand “I-It’s alright you can leave I’ll take care of it” Sirius quickly snatched up his friends arm again and roughly pulled his sleeve back “What is this?” he stared up at Remus with a rather confusing expression “These don’t look like normal, Remus please tell me you didn’t do this.” He kept his light grey eyes on the deep gashes that littered his already scared arm, the young boy snatched his arm back feeling the tears as they filled his eyes “Sirius get out.” he hated himself for letting his friend find something so shameful now of all times, when things were good when things were getting better, they would hate him eventually he knew that, knew they would leave him, and this was it. Sirius stepped around Remus and opened the door, he expected the door to close and to leave him alone in the bathroom then for the boys to tell him to leave, then.. “James, Pete get in here.” Remus gasped “What are you doing?” “What obviously you still don't understand how much we love you if your doing this silly stuff.” Remus could only stare at his friend so many words caught in his throat, How were they so good to him, why did they care so much? Why did they love him so?

James flinched hearing his name “Just hold that thought mom please” she started her son down hands on her hips as she nodded for him to go “I’ll be right here, but when you get back were talking about this James.” he nodded and grabbed Peters arm running them to the bathroom. “Thank Merlin for you Sirius Black we need to come up with something to tell my mom about Moony.” Sirius sighed, “We can think of that later the first matter at hand is this.” he pointed back to Remus’ arm that he had failed to cover in his shocked state “Holy, Moony what happened?” Peter wormed his way between the boys to gently take hold of the boys still bleeding wrist “Did you do this?” he glanced up to lock eyes with his friend and when no answer came he pulled a similar face to the one Sirius had given and just grabbed a wash cloth wetting it them pressing it to the wounds. “What happened mate?” James was next to him before he knew it with an arm around his shoulder pulling him close “We don’t have to talk about it now but no more of that alright?” Remus could only nod all the boys had eventually come to hold one another in the small room. “Boys? Is everything alright?” James flinched at the voice of his mother from behind the door “I’m coming in.” “No!” they all shouted at once but it seemed it was too late, the door opened and Mrs. Potter's face shifted from anger to concerns so quickly one would say she’d never been angry in the first place “Oh darling what happened.” The woman had pushed the rest of the boys out of the bathroom and closed the door, Remus kept his eyes down “I’m so sorry Mrs. Potter, I didn’t mean to…” his voice broke what could he say ‘ _ Sorry didn’t mean to burn my werewolf hands on your nice silver tea kettle _ ’ She didn't speak as she removed the washcloth and took out her wand “ _ Episkey _ “ she muttered in a soft voice waiting for the wounds to heal, when they refused to close she glanced up at Remus catching the fear in his eyes “I see” she simply said and crouched down to pull a first aid kit out from the cabinet and pull out a roll of bandages and ointment “How long.” She didn’t have to finish the question for him to know what she was asking. “Ten years ma’am” she had finished up with his arm and gave him a soft look, like his mother used to “I’m sorry dear.” she then kissed his forehead and it was like a damn broke, Remus felt tears sliding down his face as he began to cry, crying so hard he was becoming dizzy. He could hardly register the yelling and then the arms around him holding him, the safety of warmth around him his friends no  _ his pack _

After everything had calmed down and they had gotten the boy all the chocolate he could eat Remus was laid up on the couch head in Sirius lap asleep. “You don’t think Mrs. Potter is gonna tell anyone right?” Sirius looked down at the sleeping boy letting his fingers card through his hair “No I don’t think she will.” Peter nodded falling back into the arm chair, James had left with his mother the moment he confirmed Remus was asleep, he had insisted on not moving till he was better, well they all had but James’ mother hand dragged him away the moment things were calm, and even though they were whispering Peter and Sirius could still hear their conversation “Mom you can’t tell anyone please.” there was a sigh, most likely Mrs.Potter 

“James he’s a werewolf, is he even registered?”

“I don't know and I don’t care, I promised I’d take care of him and that's what I’m doing.” 

“By putting yourself in danger?” both boys stared at one another then down at the sleeping boy, they could have laughed “The only one in danger is Remus, and I won’t let anyone hurt him, not even you mom.” there was another long sigh that could only have come from Mrs. Potter “James I’m not saying I’m going to turn him in, he’s very sweet but you have to understand the dangers of being with a werewolf.” James scoffed “Mom don’t do this, don’t be one of those people.” there was a long silence “Don’t tell me you can look at him and see anything even remotely bad, he of all people, of anyone I've ever met” James’ voice came out watery as if he were crying “He doesn’t deserve this, this fear this pain, any of it. You know last year he stayed up late the night before the full moon just to help me and Peter get better at chess, He didn’t have to, shouldn't have but he did.” he laughed softly “It was so stupid, he was so tired the next day he almost didn’t make it to the shack, he’s done so much more for all of us then we can ever do for him, so the least I can do for him is not let people treat him like a monster.” then the silence was back for much longer it was almost unbearable as they sat in waiting 

“When did you go and grow up so much.” there was a soft sob that followed the words that made Sirius’ heart ache “When one of my best friends needed me to.”

Not long after that James came back into the room alone rubbing at his face “Is he still asleep?” Sirius nodded his fingers still running through his hair “I don’t think ive ever seen him sleep so soundly.” James laughed “Well except for when we bully our way into his bed.” Peter smiled “Maybe someone should sleep with him more often, he seems more at ease with us.” the others nodded in agreement

“You always come up with the best plans Pete” 

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Two weeks later and the boys are all meeting up at the train station, then before they know it their in school again, all the boys are cozed up in their beds ready to sleep off the excitement of their return, Remus had his curtains drawn first and the other three nodded to one another and James stepped up to the curtain pulling it back “Moony?” Remus popped his head up from under his blanket and blinked “Yes James?” He raised a brow at the young boy then just shooed him over and crawled into his bed “I’m cold” Remus sighed but nodded all the same and covered James with his blanket “You’re a dreadful liar but fear not Jamie I won’t tell the other boys of your little crush.” He snickered while James only yelled “Moony! Stop!” Just then the curtains on the other side of the bed were ripped open “Tell me everything!” Sirius’ excited face appeared then he was crawling into bed making space between Remus and James “Spill Moons.” there was a muffled groan behind Sirius that got shushed “Well James has? Had? A crush on someone in this very room.” Sirius gasped “James why didn't you tell me you were in love with me?” James could only groan louder “Now look mate you are very handsome but I’m more into short hair and face scars.” He winked at Remus who rolled his eyes but laughed “Yeah, so was he.” Sirius shot out of the bed “YOu have a crush on Moony!” James was pushed out of the bed at this point crumbling to the floor in a heap on limbs and clothes “Had you prat! You know I like Evans!” Remus laughed laying back in his bed James huffed and stomped back over to his own bed “Sleep alone!” he crawled into his bed and closed the curtains the others could only laugh louder. 

When they finally settled down Sirius was still in Remus’ bed and it didn’t seem like he was moving “Well I’m tired, good night guys.” Peter nodded to his friends then crawled into his bed, Remus then glanced up at Sirius questionably “Are you going to sleep here or go back to your bed?” “I was thinking I could sleep here, I’ve got something I wanted to talk to you about.” Remus sighed pulling his blanket up and turning to face his friend “what is it.” Sirius smirked and followed suite getting comfortable and facing Remus “look I know you said no to us joining you in the shack but-” “No Sirius not this again, it’s not going to happen. Ever.” He gave the other a hard glare that only seemed to entice the young Black “Oh ever huh?” He smirked “That sounds like a  _ challenge _ Mr.Lupin” Remus groaned and rolled over “Shut up and go to sleep Sirius.”

In the morning all the boys smiled at Remus who was drooling on Sirius’ arm “This is disgusting but I almost don’t want to wake him.” “We can let him sleep longer but he might kill us if we don’t wake him, he’s gonna want to go to as many classes as possible before next week.” James sighed as he stripped from his bed clothes and began to put on his uniform, Peter following up and doing the same “We’ll meet you two in the great hall, yeah?” Sirius nodded “Save us a seat.” he nodded and they left, leaving Sirius to figure out how to wake the bear… of well wolf. “Moony, it's time to wake up.” he sang softly into the boys ear to which he only grunted and placed his hand on Sirius’ face and pushed him away, Sirius laughed and licking the others hand “Oh Sirius gross!” he laughed hearing his friends distressed voice “Ugh you are such a dog sometimes.” He pulled himself out of the bed and Sirius followed from the other side both boys beginning to dress for school “You have no idea.” Sirius had muttered to himself before they left to meet their friends.

Halfway to the great hall Sirius froze Remus stood beside him confused “What’s wrong?” he followed his line of sight and nodded “I see, You should talk to him Sirius.” Sirius gaped at his friend “Talk to him? And say what?! ‘Oh hey Reg hows home you know the one i'm almost never at because our parents suck and I wish you would listen to reason and leave with me?’ yeah real fantastic idea Moons” Remus placed a hand on his back slightly pushing him forward “It is, because you’ll never know until you talk to him.” Sirius whined “You aren't gonna give this up are you?” Remus shook his head “Be lucky that this is all and im not making you two hug it out.” Sirius gave a dry laugh at that “As if he would ever touch me.” Remus simply pushed his friend forward “I’m beginning to regret telling you anything.” he sighed “Well it was me of James, and I know how to let other people handle a situation till they ask for help, unlike some.” He gave the young Black a sharp glare and he flinched “Fine fine i'm going.” 

Sirius made his way to his brother noticing his ‘friends’ had scattered upon his arrival, his brother spoke first his voice sent a chill down his spine “Sirius, what do you want?” He tried a smile that felt more fake than Regulus’ friends “Hey Reg, hows” he paused, this was stupid “School.” he could have punched himself in the face, this was- “It’s fine, I presume you are as well.” Sirius’ head snapped up to see his brother raise an eyebrow at him “Unless I’m wrong?” “No no not wrong.. I, I’m glad your doing well.” he let himself relax and gave his brother a small smile “I saw your last game, wanted to congratulate you.” Sirius’ smile grew as there was no way he wouldn't notice the pink that colored his cheeks “Thank you” his voice wavered almost like he was holding back emotions “You were bloody brilliant Reg, you caught that snitch before the match even started those Hufflepuffs didn't stand a chance!” Regulus dropped his head to stare down at the floor, Sirius could see the smile on his face, was used to him hiding his joy Sirius bit his lip “Well I should uh let you get back to it then.” he quickly hugged his brother before he could move to do anything and ran off to the great hall. Remus had a wide smile on his face as he watched the interaction, upon passing Regulus he was stopped by a hand to his arm “Take care of him, please.” “Always.” with that they parted ways and Remus came into the great hall to find Sirius happily talking with James and Peter the two boys confused but happy for their friends happiness. 

Sirius’ happiness seemed to be rather infectious throughout the day, it was sort of cute that just having a short conversation with his brother could make him so happy that the normally tricky bastard he was, was now helping lost first years and practically skipping about the castle, even now their walk from class James stepped back to Remus “What’s got him in such high spirits?” Remus laughed “Secrets I suppose.” James gasped “Wait he told you?! Did you say yes!” Remus raised an eyebrow “I mean I’d say I more so coaxed him into it but sure.” James wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulders and shook him “Thank Melin you finally came around, it was hard stuff becoming an Animagus you know.” he laughed and Remus froze in place eyes wide “You did wHAT!” Sirius and Peter turned quickly to see James’ face drop and pale as he shrank back away from Remus, Sirius’ smile dropped off his face at the look of pure rage on Remus’ face and in his eyes “shit” He muttered and grabbed the boy and they all ran into an empty classroom James pointed his wand at the door.” _ Colloportus _ ” while Peter tapped the walls with a “ _ Imperturbed _ ” as soon as the two turned around they felt their blood run cold and almost wanted to run from the room all together, it wasn’t that Remus scared them not really (well a little) they just didn’t want to upset him and now he seemed very very upset “Listen Moony I don’t know that James said but-” “Don’t know what he said? Huh not a clue that you lot went and became Animagus!” Sirius shot James a hard glare “You told him! We were suppose to work up to that James!” “I thought you told him that's why you were so happy all day!” Sirius scoffed “No you numpty I was happy because I spoke to Regulus.” James’ face softened for a moment “Oh.. how was it?” Sirius smiled “It was nice.” the two had stopped their yelling to smile at one another when Peter cleared his throat “Uhm guys, this isn’t a great time, im happy for you too Sirius really but Moony is…. Sort of scaring me” the two turned to see Remus’ eyes now shown a bright yellow in the otherwise dim room “holy shit..” James took a step back while Sirius took a step forward ‘Moony listen.” Remus growled (holy shit really growled) at Sirius “No you listen, I told you all that you weren’t coming with me, do any of you even understand what I am I wouldn't hesitate to kill any of you.” he took a deep breath and placed his hand over his eyes “I’m a beast, now and under the full moon.” Remus’ head shot up at the sound of a snort then laughter “Oh yeah okay.” Sirius couldn’t hold back his laughter “Excuse me if I don’t tremble in fear over a boy who's half my size and folds his socks.” James let a laugh bubble up and bit his lip to try and stifle it, he then added “Yeah or a boy who eats more than his body weight in chocolate.” Remus gasped feeling his cheeks filling with heat “You aren't getting the point he-re!” he could have screamed when his voice cracked and that was it Peter started laughing along with the others.

Remus Lupin was not pouting, he didn't pout even if his friends were making fun of him and he was trying very hard to stay angry at them. “Moony come on, just hear us out okay? You are like the least scary person ever.” James chuckled “Yeah like I’m more scared of Lily.” Remus could only sigh as he leaned back on the abandoned desk rubbing his hands over his face “Are you all stupid?” the three were still laughing.

He let out a long breath okay strike that he wasn’t trying to stay angry with them, he was trying not to think of what could have happened to them, how they could have been disfigured forever or died because he knew just how impatiens these idiots are, he was trying not to cry from frustration because his friends were so stupid but he loved them so much that even the thought of losing them made his heart feel so heavy he couldn't breath, Remus looked up tears burning his bright eyes “You could have died..” his voice came out broken and they all stopped, this wasn’t the reaction they wanted or expected, they wanted him to be over the moon (haha) about it to be thrilled to not be alone anymore, they expected the anger the rage for him to yell and call them stupid, they did not expect the broken voice and the tears.

In truth they knew they could have died knew the risks of doing this without supervision they all knew quite will they could be not even standing here in this moment, but they were and that’s what was important not the if’s or the could haves the now. “Moony, we know what we did, and I speak for all when I say we would all do it again and again if it meant you wouldn't be alone in that shack, ripping yourself to pieces, coming back to us just a little more broken every time.” James had stepped forward wanting to wrap his friend in a hug but unsure if the other would allow it. “He’s right, I know I’d do it again.” Sirius placed his hand on Remus’ shoulder letting his thumb rub it gently “Me too” Peter squeaked out moving closer so that all three surrounded their friend with that same warmth he had felt so many times before, it only served to make him cry more “You three are going to be the death of me.” He scrubbed at his face with his sleeves hissing as he rubbed the bandages around his wrist too hard “Hey come on Moony don’t you even wanna know what we are?” James joked giving into his desire and wrapping an arm around Remus’ shoulders “We’ve even got cool nicknames for all of us just like yours.” “So that's why you’ve been calling me that silly name.” Sirius gasped “Hey! I came up with that.” Remus offered a huff of laughter to that “No wonder it's so bad.” “Watch it Moons I bite.” he teased Peter sighed, “Can we go back to the room to have the rest of this talk? I don’t want a teacher coming in and seeing us.”

Remus chose to not ask, he’d had enough surprises for one day thank you, although it seemed his friends didn't much care that he’d had enough 

“Alright who do you wanna see first?”

“None I don’t want to see anything, In fact, how about we all pretend this isn’t real and you three do your… you things and I’ll go do my homework with Lily and…” He bit his lip “Lily” 

the other three boys gave him a strange look but chose to ignore it for the moment “Or we show you who you’ll be spending next full with yeah?” Sirius nodded to James who stood up and took out his wand “No! No no no I don’t care what you’ve done your not coming with me.” James simply rolled his eyes and tapped his wand to his head and shifted into a stag “Holy shit…” Remus stood still “James?” “Prongs actually.” Sirius cut in and stood next to the stag placing his hand on the deer's back “I’m not even sure he’d fit in the shack.” Sirius simply shrugged “No matter Wormtail over here sure can.” Remus turned to Peter who simply did just as James had and shifted to a small rat that scurried over to Sirius and was quickly placed on top of the bed, Remus offered a humorless laugh “I’d eat him and not even think twice about it.” Sirius scoffed “Fine Mr. pessimist.” He then did as the other two did and was replaced with a large black dog “Oh good god.” Remus ran his hands thought his hair “Really, Sirius.” “Well it’s actually Padfoot.” He hadn’t even noticed when James had changed back too busy staring at the Grim proudly prancing around the room like a show dog, he could hardly register the arms that wrapped him in a hug from behind “You probably won't know since you’ve never really been around other animals when you change, but werewolves are very friendly with other animals, especially their pack.” Remus turned to see Peter with a wide smile “what makes you think I won’t figure out that your all people under a spell and kill you?” “Because you love us and that wolf of yours knows our send by now.” Sirius smirked at him when he looked back “You three really will be the death of me someday.”

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“We should call ourselves something!” Sirius had all but slammed his drink down one morning in the great hall “Padfoot please its 6am lower your voice.” James sighed looking up at his friend over an open textbook “Don’t be cross with me because you decided not to finish your charms homework because you were too busy flirting with Evans.” “Hey! I was not flirting we were talking about-.”he was cut off with a scoff from the other side of the table “Oh yeah ‘talking’ about your burning love for her.” Remus couldn't help the small laugh that left his lips as a piece of food flew across the table hitting Sirius in the forehead “Hey! Watch the hair Prongs! And you whose side are you on anyways?” Remus shrugged “Lily obviously.” both boys huffed “Traitor” “Don’t you two have quidditch practice soon?” both boys jumped up “shit!” they both exclaimed as they gathered up their things “Oh Moony please please please help me finish this before charms.” James leaned over the table pleading putting his best puppy dog eyes on “Prongs..” he warned glancing up at him “Last time I swear and I’ll buy you that nice chocolate from honeydukes you like please!” Remus rolled his eyes but snatched the parchment from his hand and groaned at how little was finished “Your lucky this isn't potions.” James laughed as he stood from the table “Oh please if it were potions I’d sooner ask Wormtail.” “Watch it-” Remus stopped feeling a hand on his shoulder upon glancing up he stilled “Lupin, are you still on to study with me and Evans later?” the blond let his hand slide down Remus’ shoulder to hold his arm “Oh who am I kidding of course you are I’ll be there.” James and Sirius glared at the blonde holding their friends arm “I’m sorry but who are you?” Sirius stood close to Remus a dark gleam in his eyes, the blonde sputtered “wha- me? I’m Gilderoy Lockhart everyone knows me, why I’d say I’m the best in our year.” had Sirius not had a glare burning a hole in the other he might have noticed Remus rolling his eyes “right, well Moony you wanna come watch practice?” Sirius hand his hand now around Remus’ neck pulling him away from Gilderoy “You and I both know I don’t care for the game Pads.” Sirius huffed “Well Prongs and I would really like it if you came, right Prongs?” James nodded “Come on.” Gilderoy raised a brow at the boys as he removed his hand “I’ll see you later hmm Lupin?” Remus simply nodded and waved to him as he left, then was dragged along with the two quidditch players “Come on Wormy!”

Remus rolled his eyes as he was pulled by his robes “Who the hell is he? And what does he mean best in his year?! We all know that's you of Evans!” “Ha! So you do think she's smart!” Sirius growled “Not the point Prongs! Who does that little weasel think he is just touching you like that!” Remus hadn’t been able to answer any of these questions as Sirius seemed incapable of shutting his mouth the entire way to the quidditch pitch, it wasn’t until they finally arrived that he was released and Sirius turned to him with a flushed and angry expression “Well?” he tapped his foot waiting for him to answer, what exactly he wasn’t sure “What are you asking me to answer? You asked about a billion and one things on the way here.” Sirius opened his mouth to no doubt spew another billion questions but was quickly grabbed and dragged away by James “Ask later quidditch now.” James waved to him and he was left standing there alone until Peter finally caught up “What was his problem.” he sighed leaning down to catch his breath “Not sure but I'm almost certain this isn’t the end of it.”

As much as he had suspected it Remus had hoped it would be the end of the conversation, if you could even call it that, they were all sat in the common area and to his credit Sirius had waited till they were all finished with classes for the day and Remus was waiting for Lily to come get him for them to meet Gilderoy in the library. “Why the hell are you even studying with that prick can’t you just go see Evans like you always do and be done with it?” “No” “why the hell not! He's annoying!” Remus sighed “Pads I understand you don’t like him but you don’t have to study with him so why are you so upset?” Sirius bit at his lip his arms crossed, he looked like he was going to throw a tantrum, well he already was “I’m going with you.” “No way” “You can’t stop me from going to the library.” “Wanna bet on that?” He leveled his friend with a glare and raised his wand to him when he was interrupted “Excuse me, I’m going to have to steal Remus from you.” Lily nodded to the three as Remus collected his things and Sirius stood up “I’m going with.” Lily raised a brow at this “Oh? Your going to help Remus with his potions too?” Remus sighed “That's why your going? You could have just asked you know i'm brilliant at potions!” Remus shook his head and stepped around the two boys laying on the floor “No Padfoot, just stay and play exploding snap with Prongs like he’s been begging for half an hour.” James whined “I’ve not been begging I've just been trying to get him to shut up!” Remus laughed “Well you've been doing a poor job haven’t you?” James only offered a grunt in response. “I’m going now, I’ll be back before too long try not to break any laws while i'm gone yeah?” they all groaned in response as the two left leaving Sirius to glare at the portrait hole “Mate just sit down, you’d only be bothing them if you went.” “The creep is gonna have his hands all over my Moony!” James smirked up at his friend “Your Moony?” Sirius sputtered “My.. I mean you know what I mean our! Our Moony!” Peter picked his head up from James’ lap “Why do you care so much? I mean yeah I get it Lockhart is annoying but it’s not like he wants you to hang out with him or anything you’re kinda acting like a jealous boyfriend.” the plump boy kept his gaze on Sirius as realization dawned on him “Oh Padfoot I didn’t know you liked Moony.” “I don’t!” James’ smirk only widened “You don’t?” “No I mean I do, of course i do but not like that!.” Peter and James shared a look “Mmm sure you don’t.”James nodded as Peter laid his head back in JAmes’ lap, Sirius growled at the two boys on the ground “I don’t!” then before either could say anything he was marching out of the common area “He so likes him.” Peter offered from James’ lap to which James laughed “Oh yeah he does.”

Sirius wasn’t sure where he was headed but he wasn’t expecting for his mindless wandering to land him right in front of the library, he stared at the large doors a sinking feeling deep in his stomach it wouldn’t be wrong of him to just peek in to make sure Remus was okay, not at all the full moon was close and he knew the boys emotions tended to be all over the place when it was close so a quick peek and he would leave, he pushed open the door poking his head in and almost immediately saw red, the sight before him made him want to scream that slimy little prick had his hands all over Remus! Just like he’d said Sirius could hardly register his actions as he rushed into the room and up to the table grabbing Gilderoy’s arm and pulling it off Remus “Excuse me?” Gilderoy glanced up at Sirius with a look of utter astonishment on his face “Can I help you Black?” he scoffed as he pulled his hand back “Yeah you can keep your filthy little hands of Remus you toad.” Gilderoy gasped standing from his chair “How dare you speak to me like that, besides it’s none of your concern how I touch Lupin.” Sirius felt the rage pooling in the pit of his stomach, he wanted to yell at the top of his lungs wanted to punch this prick in the face “It’s all of my business you little-” “Sirius” Remus’ stern voice cut through the haze of rage boiling in Sirius and everything seemed to simmer down as he looked into a soft forest of green eyes ‘ _ shit _ ‘ he thought quickly ‘ _ I do like him _ ’ 

“Sirius what are you doing here?” Sirius couldn’t stop staring at the boy before him, why hadn’t he realized it before? Remus was gorgeous, smart, funny everything James was always going on about Evans “I uh-” He looked around having made a rather obvious scene and took a step back, “I just wanted to check on you, because I uh- your mom soon.” Remus’ expression softened at the mention and nodded “Yeah right well I’m alright so if you wouldn’t mind not dragging everyone's attention to us that would be lovely.” Sirius was floored he couldn’t just leave now, not with this slimy prat here “I also wanted to help, you know with your uh homework.” at this Lily raised a brow at the young man while Gilderoy on the other hand simply laughed “Right like this fool could teach you anything.” Remus rolled his eyes “Sirius is quite smart actually, much smarter than I.” Gilderoy only scoffed louder “Right and I’m not the most handsome guy in the room, He’s a Black, Lupin he probably doesn’t know up from down.” Sirius could only roll his eyes not even bothered by the dig at his name while Remus slammed his book closed “Actually Lockhart, I’d say Sirius is probably the best in our year.” with that he gathered his things and nodded to Lily “I’ll be calling it a day, sorry.” She smiled and followed up with gathering her things as well “Your right Remus let's call it today.” Gilderoy sputtered for a moment grabbing at Remus’ wrist the young boy hissed in pain feeling fingers dig into his wounds 

“Let him go.” Sirius growled out feeling a smaller hand on his arm being the only thing to stop him from jumping the blonde right then and there, Lily took Remus’ hand in hers and pulled him over to the door once she was sure Gilderoy had released him “Come on Black I’m sure your keeper is wondering where you’ve gone.” Sirius gave the blonde one more hot glare then turned to follow after the two, now in the halls Lily was gently holding Remus’ arm cooing over the boy like a mother hen “Are you sure you’re alright? I can always go back there and hex him.” “No Lils, it’s fine, he didn’t know it’s not like he grabbed me there on purpose.” She made a face but nodded reluctantly “Right sure.” Sirius had found his way next to Remus mid their discussion “Are you alright Moony? We need to go back to the room and change those bandages I can smell the blood from here.” Remus had agreed and the three made their way back to the Gryffindor common rooms to be greeted with the sight of James and Peter seated in front of the fire half naked with the Prewett twins sat fully clothed with a game of exploding snap between them. 

Lily had taken one glance at the scene and sighed “I don't even want to know” and left to her dorm room, Sirius and Remus walked over to the game with two very different expressions on their faces, Remus confusion and a little bit of horror, Sirius excitement and pure glee. “I’m not even going to ask how you two ended up like this.” James’ face lit up at seeing his friends despite his state of undress “Moony, Padfoot!” Peter didn’t look as thrilled to see the two boys as he was trying to cover his body Remus almost wanted to laugh were it not that James and Peter were both only in their underwear. “Alright Fabian, Gideon give them back their clothes before my eyes burn.” the twins laughed “Come on Lupin” Fabian started only for Gideon to finish his sentence “Let us have our fun.” Remus rolled his eyes and Fabian snickered “Unless you and Black want to take their places?” Sirius’ excitement seemed to die down at the suggestion “Ha funny Fabian, but Me and Moony have more important things to do then get naked in the common room.” The twins laughed “Yeah like get naked in your dorm room together.” the twins wiggled their fingers at the two and knocked one another making kissing sounds, Sirius’ cheeks flushed a deep crimson as Remus looked away his own face doing much the same “Knock it off Prewett” James reached across the game snatching his shirt back, the twins only continued to laugh. 

“You guys need any help up there?” James nodded his head to their dorm with a slightly hopeful look in his eye, Sirius smirked “Yeah actually, Wormtail you wanna come help us? I’m sure James can keep your game going till you get back.” Peters head snapped up “O-Oh yeah!” Fabian sighed throwing the plump boy his clothes “Booo lame.” he whined as Peter quickly dressed himself and was next to Remus as quickly as his little feet could move, James only glared at his friends “Traitors” he muttered as the three walked up to their dorm. “Did you guys actually need something or were you just messing with James?” Peter laughed a bit as he closed the door , making his way to his bed he hissed when he caught a glimpse at Remus’ arm, he sat for a moment watching Sirius’ attempt at trying to clean and re-wrap his bandages, “Alright okay that's enough, move aside let me.” he pushed Sirius to the side and took the fresh bandage off and set to re-wrapping it correctly “You were doing it too tightly, if you do that he won’t heal properly.” Sirius kept his eyes on Remus’ arm as Peter explained how to take care of the injuries. Remus sighed at the two “Guys I can take care of it myself really, you guys act like this is the first time I've ever been hurt in my life.” once Peter was finished he walked back to his own bed and laid down “Come on Moony you know we just want to be able to take care of you, because we care.” Sirius’ soft voice hung in the short silence till Peter laughed “Yeah Moony it’s okay because we all love you.” Sirius was quick to jump on the other boy and began tickling him “why you little!” Remus smiled but rolled his eyes at the semi fight happening across from him and simply pulled himself into his bed and opened his books Sirius was about to get off their friend and help Remus like he’d promised when the door slammed open and a very naked James rushed in “You guys are the worst!” he yelled as he rushed to their bathroom, all three of the boys in the room looked to one another and then laughed.

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Now with the week gone and the full moon upon them Sirius found himself in a rather heated argument with Remus once again for what felt like the millionth time that morning 

“No no no no I won’t hear it again Padfoot it’s not happening I don't care what you lot have done to yourself! I know it’s not going to work.”

“You don’t know that till you let us come!”

“Yes I do! How long do you think I’ve been like this? I’m no fool and I won’t be held accountable when you all die!”

“We won’t die you twat! If you would just listen to me you would know that, but do you no! Cause Moony’s allllllways right!” 

“Yeah I’m always right because you just rush head first into things with no care!”

“No care! Oh yeah I care so little for you that I went and did this permanent thing to myself because I hate your bloody guts!”

Remus growled having had enough of this conversation that had been going on since breakfast and it was currently dinner, James and Peter were silently eating as they watched the fight rage on, they wanted to put their two cents in but not at the cost of getting their head chewed off by either side. “Drop it Sirius, now or I’ll make you.” Remus leaned across the table wand in his hand pointed right at Sirius, Sirius sent Remus a hard glare and stood from the table snatching his wand out of his hand “Don’t point that at me unless you plan to use it you prat.” Remus snarled “I do if you don’t drop it.” James figured it was time for him to step in and gently took the wand from Sirius’ hands “Look you two need to calm down, Remus eat now before you have to go see your mom you know how tired you get.” James had raised an eyebrow to the young boy in warning then turned to Sirius as Remus began to eat with reluctance “And you, bullying your way into trying to go with him won’t make him say yes so knock it off. We will finish this discussion after dinner is over.”

On the way back to the dorm the four were silent, Sirius and Remus walking as far apart as they could from one another and James could only roll his eyes at how dramatic the two were being. Once they were back in the room Remus quickly grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom. “Hey come back here we’re talking about this!” James called after the boy only to have a door slammed in his face “Let him throw his fit Prongs.” Sirius huffed crawling into his bed James sighed rubbing his face then stood up and yelled “No!” He walked to the bathroom and flung open the door “You listen here-... oh Moony” James’ voice had softened when he saw the boy sitting on the ground hugging his clothes to his chest, Sirius’ head had snapped to look at the door and he was out of bed before he even knew what was happening “Remus” Sirius attitude from earlier had completely disappeared as he stepped into the bathroom after James, he crouched down to pull his crying friend into his arms, “I’m sorry I yelled, I didn’t mean any of it Remus, you know that right I’m so sorry.” Sirius held him as he clung to the young man “No it’s not you, you were right im a prat I know you all did this for me but I can’t stand the idea of hurting you so I just shut it down even after you all went through so much.” 

Sirius looked up at James who nodded and crouched down with them “Remus we did this for you, not because we had to but because we wanted to, we never wanted you to feel bad about it. If anything we were being selfish but what's done is done and we just want to be there for you now that we can.” Sirius nodded along with James’ words “Look we can make a deal okay?” Remus looked up at his friend “Let us come and if anything goes wrong we’ll lock you in the room and hightail it back here yeah?” Remus seemed to consider that for a moment then nodded “Fine, but if anything and I mean anything happens you leave, If I even so much as growl at one of you you leave immediately.” James smiled and took Remus’ hand in his and nodded to Sirius “I solemnly swear” 

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The night had come much faster than Remus had truthfully wanted it to and he was now on his way to see Madam Pomfrey as usual with the exception of three boys following behind him under an invisibility cloak, he could almost laugh hearing the muffled voices of the three as they walked down the halls 

“Ow! Padfoot that was my foot!”

“Well maybe if you walked faster that wouldn’t be a problem!”

“Don’t get pissy with me!”

“ ‘Don’t get pissy with me’ “ Sirius had mocked back in a high pitched voice to which James grunted then Sirius yelped “Ouch you twat! Don’t kick me.” “Well don’t be such a tosser and I wouldn’t” there was a squeak and the boys sighed “Sorry Wormtail” they said in unison and finally quieted down. Remus glanced back at the empty hall then opened the door to the infirmary “Afternoon Madam Pomfrey.” He greeted the stout woman with a wave and made his way to the bed he would be occupying in the morning and sat “Hello darling, no gifts today?” Remus only smiled and shook his head the nurse took this as him not feeling up for conversation and went back to her desk. 

Time seemed to be crawling by now that he was sitting in the bed waiting for the drag to the shack, he couldn’t get the thought that this was a bad idea out of his head and it was only making him more antsy as he waited, once he began to feel the harsh pull in his chest he stood and walked to the wall pressing the same tile he did every time and walking through the same tunnel he did every time then up the stairs to his room. Remus had almost hoped the boys had gotten lost somewhere in the castle because it was unusual for them to be so silent but the moment the cloak was pulled aside and he saw the pure look of fear in James’ eyes he whined “You can all leave, in fact please leave.” James had his arms wrapped tightly around Remus before the boy knew what was happening “I’m so sorry you’ve had to be in this little room alone for so long Moony.” Remus gasped keeping his arms at his sides in fear of hurting his friend “No more, You won't ever be alone again I swear it.” with that he backed off and stood back with Sirius next to him “We’ll wait down stairs okay? Then as soon as we can we’ll be up to see you alright.” Remus nodded reluctantly and watched his friends go.

It was painful, it always was feeling his bones breaking to reform into a new shape, feeling himself slowly slip away to the wolf. It was painful that was a given but what was most painful now was knowing his friends would see him, see the monster he truly was and most likely come to their senses and leave him.

James and Sirius couldn’t help the grimace that left them as they heard the cries from upstairs “He’ll be alright.” James took Sirius’ hand in his and squeezed it unsure at this point if he meant to reassure Sirius or himself the two looked down when they hear a soft squeak and nodded “It’s time” They let go of one another and took out their wands and next they knew they were no longer James and Sirius but Padfoot and Prongs.

Padfoot slowly made his way up the steps and nugged the door open with his muzzle till he could enter the small room, he let out a soft whine when he spotted the wolf that was clawing at the walls, when the wolf noticed him it was quick to approach him teeth bared and a snarl ripping from its throat, Padfoot stood his ground and stepped forward. The wolf, no Moony growled loud before letting out a howl, he stepped closer to the large black dog and sniffed at him for a moment before he sat back on his hind legs and stared almost confused at the scent that felt so familiar, Padfoot barked and began to trot about the room just as he had done when he first showed Remus his form, Moony seemed to take this well as he simply flattened himself to the ground and watched with wide eyes. They stayed like this for a little while longer Padfoot getting rather cozy with the wolf before he trotted over to the door and barked again, not long after that Prongs was slowly making his way up the stairs and into the room with a slightly shaking Wormtail sat on his back.

All things considered the night had gone rather well, once Prongs and Wormtail had shown themselves Moony wasn’t as aperhensive as before and was quick to sniff at the two nosing around the small shaking rat and large stag before letting out a rather loud howl of approval, this was it they were his pack. After that Padfoot had tried to play with Moony only to have to stop when the large wolf began to bite and claw at himself, but with a loud growl Moony had stopped and rolled over for the grim showing his belly to which Padfoor was quick to place his head atop Mooney's chest and stared into his eyes ‘It’s okay, I’m not angry’ the wolf whined and rolled over and after that the night seemed to go more smoothly with only minor moments of Moony clawing at himself. Once the moon began to set the wolf laid down in the room curling around itself as it began to fall asleep, having seemingly been tired out from the excitement of the three being there, Padfoot was quick to curl up next to the wolf and was soon followed by Prongs and a much less reluctant Wormtail. 

When morning came the three had all gathered under the cloak and rushed back to their room but not before covering the young boy with the blanket off the dusty old bed.

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The next morning when Remus woke he was surrounded by his friends' voices behind the white curtains, “Come on Madam Pomfrey He’s probably still asleep let us just see him for a moment.”

“No Mr. Black he needs his rest and you three are far too rowdy for him right now.”

“We promise to be quite, please we just want to see him.” 

“I said no and I mean it Potter you boys shouldn’t even be down here this early.” 

“We’re as worried about him as you are Ma’am please we just want to make sure our friend is okay.” 

There was a long sigh that Remus knew came from the older woman “Fine but if I hear one peep you’re all out, do you understand me boys.” “Yes ma’am” all three had seemed to speak at once then the sound of shuffling feet and a curtain being pulled back made Remus look up “Moony” James’ soft voice whispered out as he came in first “He’s awake?” next came Sirius a wide smile on his tired face then Peter who looked equally as haggard, Remus offered his friends a smile then slowly made his way to sit up, Sirius and James were at his side helping him up “Watch it Moons, you may not be internally bleeding but your no doubt bone tired.” the young boy laughed as he sat back against the pillows “How did it go?” the three smiled to one another then looked to Remus “It was brilliant mate, you took to us so easy.” James offered as he sat in the old wooden chair next to the bed, Sirius nodded to Pete offering the second chair to him as he sat on the edge of Remus’ bed “Yeah you did really well, just one bark from Padfoot was enough to make you stop hurting yourself.” Peter smiled reaching over to take Remus’ hand in his “and you didn’t eat me so that's a plus.” Remus squeezed Peters hand and smiled “That’s good, I’m glad I didn’t hurt any of you.” Sirius shook his head “We knew you would never hurt us Moons, How could you we’re your pack.” 

Remus was at a loss for words, he had known of course he had but it still shocked him that they had just accepted that fact so quickly “You…” he looked around him at his friends and felt the hot prick of tears “You all know what that means, don’t you?” James took Remus’ hand just as Peter had done before and nodded “A pack is family, a pack is forever.” Sirius smiled moving his hand to rest on Remus leg “Forever doesn’t sound too bad.”


	6. Fourth year (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things always get worse before they get better right? right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I kinda hate this but I've lost sleep writing so i really hope you guys that are reading or still reading enjoy.

Forever forever forever that word flooded Remus’ mind everyday of every moment from the second it lets Sirius’ lips, the idea that he could have a forever with anyone let alone three of the most amazing people he’d ever met, three people who loved him for him, people who saw past what he was. That thought alone kept Remus out of the dark, kept him safe from his own thoughts nothing could make him feel the way that, that moment did and it was a marvelous feeling.

After that first full moon together the boys had refused to let Remus go alone ever again, as long as they were together nothing bad would ever happen, they had promised one another almost religiously that they would do anything for one another and they did, Peter needed help with homework? Remus stayed up half the night to help him. James got hurt during quidditch practice, Sirius was there to nurse him back to health, and it was an unspoken rule that every month they would all go up to the shrieking shack and wait for the moon to rise and then Moony and Padfoot would play.

Everything was perfect, they were all doing fine in school, their pranks were getting better executed by the day and they were all inseparable, they had taken Sirius’ idea and now they weren't just a bunch of Gryffindor pranksters they were the Marauders.

“We sound like a gang.” 

“Wha- Moony! We are no such thing!”

“Well I don’t know about that Prongsie, were kind of a gang.”

“Yeah! We have cool nicknames and….and”

“Don’t hurt yourself Wormy”

“Hey!” Peter reached over James and swatted at Sirius’ leg “Watch it!” Remus called from Sirius’ lap the four boys had all but claimed the couch in the Gryffindor common area with James sat next to Peter with his legs draped across Peters lap as he leaned against Sirius’ side with Remus laying his head in the young Blacks lap and his legs draped off the arm rest they were a sight that was for sure 

“Do you lot know how to separate at this point or are you all just stuck to one another?” James perked up at the voice of Lily Evans who was now stood right in front of them “Well I’d say were connected at the hip wouldn’t you Prongs?” Sirius laughed nudging his friend in the side, James rolled his eyes and sat up “We know how to separate, in fact I can separate for a pretty girl any-day eh?” he raised his eyebrows to the red head to which she simply scoffed and ignored him, “Remus are you still meeting me in the library later?” Remus opened his mouth to speak only to have a hand placed over it and Sirius sighed dramatically “Yeah, not if that prat Lockhart is gonna be there he’s not.” Remus stifled a laugh from behind Sirius hand and Lily gave Sirius a rather unimpressed look “You don’t get to make decisions for him your not his mom.” Sirius scoffed “Excuse you I held him in my very own belly for 9 months, how dare you!” Remus laughed hands moving to curl around his stomach as his face turned a tad pink, Sirius stared down at Remus with a wide smile and soft eyes ‘ _ Dammit he’s so cute _ ’ he moved his hand from Remus mouth to hear his laugh and ran his fingers through his hair, Lily glanced at James and Peter and the two nodded making Lily smile “Of course he does” she sighed.

Later that evening the four boys were sat in Remus bed (It being the cleanest) trying to plan their next big prank “Okay all ideas are good ideas” James nodded to his friends “So who had any?” Peter raised his hand “Wormtail remember what we said?” Remus gently took his hands and lowered it “We don’t have to raise hands in the circle unless too many people speak at once.” Peter nodded shyly “So I was thinking we could turn all the Slytherins into pigs?” James and Sirius perked up at the idea while Remus held back a groan, “Okay I’m listening how would we go about this?” James leaned closer with an overly interested look on his face, Peter thought for a moment then continued “Well we could make a big batch of polyjuice potion and replace their punch with that?” James seemed to think it over then wrote it down on a large strip of parchment “Okay good, good, I like it but we may have to hold onto that one.” Peter nodded but smiled nonetheless. 

“We can change everyone's robes to Gryffindor for a whole day.” Remus leaned back in his bed legs crossed already reaching for a book off his desk, Sirius was quick to slap at his hand “No books in prank circle.” Remus huffed crossing his arms, James smiled at the two and nodded “Okay not bad Moony, you've definitely come up with better but I know your mind is elsewhere right now, Mine would be too if I was meeting up with Lily soon.” James sighed dreamily and received a flick to the forehead “And no Lily talk in the prank circle!” Sirius rolled his eyes “It’s like you two don’t even respect the rules of the circle.” Remus shrugged “To be fair I don’t” James sighed “Shush Moony, we’re sorry Padfoot we respect the circle.” Sirius nodded and smirked “Now I say we all find Lockhart in a hallway and curse his mouth off.” The other three just gave the young Black a look and he gasped “What! It's perfect! Stupid little rat needs to shut it every now and again.” James gave his friend a nudge and shook his head “Pranks mate not bullying.” Sirius huffed “Whatever”

Remus groaned as he looked at the three boys on his bed then up to the clock on the wall “Well I need to get going so if you’ll all excuse me.” He got up from the bed and gather his needed books then turned back to the three still on his bed and added “And no you may not use my bed while in not here you three are messy and I don’t want ink stains on my bed.” he shot a look to James who stuck out his bottom lip “You spill ink one time and suddenly your a criminal!” James crossed his arms as he got off Remus’ bed and stomped over to his own that was barely even two feet away from his own, Peter laughed as he got out of the bed and walked over to James’ to comfort the boy “there there Prongs want some candy?” James nodded and took the treat “Wormtail is the only one who really loves me.” Remus rolled his eyes as he pulled on his cardigan and grabbed his bag, “I don’t see why you can’t just study with me and James” Sirius stood from the bed looking down at Remus with a pout on his face, Remus stared up at his friend with a rather unimpressed look and poked in between his eyebrows “Don’t scrunch up your face like that you’ll become ugly.” and then turned from his friend and left the room leaving Sirius to glare at the ground 

“He’s blushing.”

“Oh yeah he is do you see his ears.”

James made kissy sounds “Oh Sirius don’t make that face you’ll become ugly, because your soooo pretty now.” Peter laughed and sighed over-dramatically “Oh Remus you think I’m pretty I'm swooning!” Sirius growled and tackled his friends ”SHut up!” 

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Sirius and James were sat on the floor on their shared room arguing about who was better at quidditch just a bit too loudly for the ever growing irritated werewolf who was sat in his bed just trying to read, he was ignoring it thus far but when James slapped his hands down on the ground and shouted Remus lost it “Would you two shut the fuck up!” James and Sirius froze staring up at Remus, Peter had quickly closed his bed curtain and Remus gasped “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that I just could you two maybe just quiet down a little is all I meant I….” He looked down at his book in shame Sirius laughed “I’ll never get used to hearing you swear like that.” James sighed “Your breaking my heart with that dirty mouth Moony.” Remus glanced up at his friends and shook his head “You don’t have to cover it up with humor tell me I’m being an ass.” the two nodded “Yes well you are a bit of an ass” James mused while Sirius smirked “and you definitely have a nice ass.” Remus huffed out a laugh “You two are stupid.” “We know” they said in unison as they smiled at Remus, Peter peeked his head out “Is it safe to come out?” Remus looked away ashamed “Sorry I’ll go down to the common room.” Sirius picked up a crumpled piece of parchment and tossed it at Peters head “Shut it worms!” Peter whined “Sorry Moony it’s not you, you know I just don’t like yelling.” Remus nodded “Sorry I yelled at all.” Peter crawled out of his bed and made his way over to Remus’ and quickly made room for himself but not before snatching a bit of chocolate off his desk and handing it to the boy.

“How soon is it?” Remus shrugged and took the sweet “Tomorrow night.” Peter nodded and rubbed Remus’ back as he bit at the bar, James and Sirius quickly cleaned up their mess “You guys don’t have to do that just because of me.” Remus said through a mouthful of chocolate, the two shrugged “What we need to go to bed anyways we we’re just being loud for no reason at this point.” James yawned “It’s about time for us all to get some sleep.” Remus took one more large bite from the bar and wrapped it back up “You’re right” he hummed as he swallowed the last of the sweet and held open the covers for Peter who was still in his bed, Peter smiled and crawled under the covers, Sirius whined “Hey! No fair I was gonna sleep with Moony!” Peter stuck out his tongue “Too bad, you sleep with him all the time it’s my turn, plus Padfoot will sleep with him tomorrow night so suck it up.” Remus frowned as he pulled up the covers and closed his eyes.

The next morning Remus woke up irritated, he couldn’t help it there was something about the day that just made him want to scream, he could hear his friends getting dressed as quietly as they could as not to bother him and as nice as it was it frustrated him being treated like a child, like he couldn’t handle anything like he was fucking stupid, he knew this was irratinal this was the wold in his brain yelling for him to rage and break everything but he was a person not a beast…. Or that's what his friends like to tell him at least, He groaned and rolled over in his bed not wanting to deal with his brain at the moment when he felt a hand on his shoulder “Moony, it’s time to get up if you want time to eat and get to class on time.” Remus peeked out from under his covers and let out a sound that came out more of a growl then he meant for it to “Not going.” James raised an eyebrow “What do you mean? To breakfast or to class?” Remus thought for a moment, missing one day of classes wouldn’t kill him would it? Well he’d be missing more than one so maybe, he let out a whine that brought Sirius to his side faster than his tired brain could comprehend “Are you feeling alright?” there was a warm hand pressed to his forehead that for some odd reason calmed him, calmed the wolf. Remus nodded looking up at Sirius with tired eyes “Why don’t you stay in bed yeah? I’ll take notes for you and come see you during self study?” Remus wanted to punch himself for this he was acting like a spoiled child, but he nodded and closed his eyes feeling Sirius fingers card through his hair slowly. There was a cough and the hand was gone far too quickly for Remus’ liking he let out a soft whine, Sirius looked back at James and Peter “I’ll meet you down in a bit okay.” The two smiled to one another but nodded all the same and left, Sirius then sat on the side on the bed and began to run his fingers through Remus’ hair again “You never answered me Rem, are you feeling alright?” Remus cracked his eyes open to stare at Sirius “Favorite time of the month.” he mumbled from under the blanket Sirius sighed “That's all? You're not getting sick are you?” Remus shook his head and Sirius nodded his head “Alright if you say so I’m trusting you, I’m gonna head down to breakfast before Womrtail eats it all.” Remus bit his lip to stop the protest that wanted to come out at the idea of the other leaving him there alone, Sirius got up from the bed and grabbed his things “Owl me if you need me Moons.” Remus grunted from the bed as Sirius left the room 

After Sirius left Remus tried to go back to sleep but to no avail as his body seemed to hate him, as per usual. He sat up in his bed and groaned into the empty room there was something in the air that just seemed to urk him, his anger was out of control nothing was even happening and all he wanted to do was shout and tear the room apart, something was calling to the wolf and Remus was far too tired to fight it. 

Down in the great hall the boys were eating in silence looking at one another till Peter broke the silence with a question none of them wanted to hear but were all thinking “Do you guys think Moony’s gonna be okay tonight?” James bit his lip and sighed “Maybe, he seems a little off.” Sirius looked down at his plate “Maybe I should skip and stay with him.” James shook his head at this “You know he would be upset if you skip class because of him, it’s better to go.” Sirius glanced up at his friend “I don’t like leaving him alone, what if he does something?” James and Peter winced thinking back to the deep cuts along Remus’ arm “He won’t.” James looked around them and noticed Lily walking over to them with a frown on her face, she stood in front of the boys with a paper clutched in her hands “We need to speak in private, now” The three boys were out of their seats and in the hall with Lily as quickly as they could.

“What's going on Evans?” Sirius gave the girl a hard look as she clutched the paper harder “Have none of you read the daily prophet?” She looked between the boys, they all shook their heads and she bit her lip and handed over the paper “You should read this.” Sirius snatched the paper out of her hand and skimmed over the paper his hands shaking the more he read “Oh god, no” he looked up at Lily their faces holding a similar expression. “What? Sirius, What's happening?” Sirius’ slightly shaking hands handed James the paper as he glanced around them “Does Professor Mcgonagall know?” Sirius’ voice was stricken with worry as he stared at the redhead, she nodded as James looked at the two “What? What does this mean? Who is this guy?” James handed the paper to Peter as he stared at Sirius and Lily “What does this have to do with us?” Sirius and Lily both stared at James and Peters confused faces with concern, Lily turned to Sirius “They don’t know?” He shrugged, “I thought they did, I guess Remus didn’t tell them.” She sighed, “To be fair he didn’t really tell us either.” Sirius looked down and hummed in thought “True”

James watched the two with building frustration “What's going on?” Peter looked up at his friends “Whos Fenrir Greyback?” James shook his head “He’s only the most evil man alive Pete come on you’ve never heard of him?” James rolled his eyes “He’s the reason werewolves get a bad rep, he takes pride in turning people and goes mostly after kids.” James said as if he couldn’t believe Peter didn’t know and then froze and turned to stare at Sirius and Lily like a deer in the headlights “no” he whispered, feeling his heart speed up “no he can’t be.” James looked at the two hoping one of them would shake their head and say he was wrong, Merlin please tell him he was wrong “No no please tell me I’m wrong.” Lily bit her lip and shook her head “I’m sorry Potter but your not.” Peter looked around at everyone confused and worried “What? What am I missing here?” Sirius turned to Peter and gave him a hard look “Peter Fenrir Greyback is the monster that turned Remus.” Peter dropped the paper in his hands and stared open mouthed at his friends “W-Wait but that pa..paper said he’s trying to get into… into Hogwarts.” Peter felt his breath coming in short bursts “W-What if he” he gasped feeling hot tears pooling in his eyes “What if he’s coming for Remus?!” James hand his arms around Peter holding the boy as he panicked but his eyes were stony as he stared at Sirius. 

Sirius was gone, running his things forgotten in the great hall. Nothing mattered right now, nothing except making sure Remus was still in their room alone asleep or doing whatever it is he was just that he was safe and alone. He ran up the steps to the portrait and yelled “ _ Abstinence _ ” the fat lady gave the boy and unimpressed look “Shouldn’t you be in class Mr. Black?” he huffed “And not yelling at me, I don’t have to let you in you know.” Sirius was torn between being angry and worried and gave the painted lady a pained look “Please just let me in.” She stared down at him and sighed then the portrait was opening “This better be good” she muttered as he ran in, through the common area and up the stairs so quickly he almost missed a few steps on the way up, once up he burst into the room to find papers everywhere, torn to bits and books flung about the room, his heart dropped into his stomach at the scene in front of him and he screamed “Remus!” Remus’ head popped out from the drawn curtain of Sirius’ own bed “Why are you yelling? Who died?” Sirius was quick to pull Remus into a tight hug and just hold him there his breath caught in his throat, Remus flinched “W-Wait a minute did someone actually die? Sirius what’s wrong what happened?” 

After a long drawn out hug that calmed Remus more than he would ever admit Sirius let him go extremely reluctantly and sat down on the bed next to him and took a good look at the room around them “What happened here?” Remus scoffed “Oh no, you don’t get to run in here screaming and ask me questions, what was that all about?” Sirius look one last look around the room then turned to Remus “look I’ll tell you but you have to promise not to freak out, okay?” Remus pulled a face “I don’t know about that, but I’ll try.” Sirius took a deep breath then spoke “ Fenrir Greyback is attempting to break into Hogwarts.” Remus looked away from Sirius biting at his lip, it took the young Black a moment before he gasped “You knew! Why didn’t you tell us?!” Remus shrunk back “I mean did you really think that the moment Professor Mcgonagall caught wind of it she wasn’t going to tell me? And as for why I didn’t tell you.” he sighed “Because I knew you’d freak out, it wasn’t hard to piece together that he’s the one who turned me so I figured you’d known so of course I wasn’t going to say anything, Is that why you busted in here shouting?” Sirius nodded pointing to the room “I thought you’d been attacked what happened in here!” Remus looked away guilty “I uh.. Lost control” he let out a soft whine and curled around himself “I was just so angry at nothing I had to break something and then after I did it just got worse.” Sirius sighed scooting closer to Remus and wrapping his arms around the boy “It’s bad huh?” Remus nodded “It hurts, it’s like he’s tearing open my chest trying to get out.” Sirius grimace holding Remus tighter “It’ll be okay Remus we’ll be right there with you.” Remus shook his head “I don’t think you should come this time, I might hurt one of you on accident.” Sirius laughed softly “Moony? Hurt us? Not even all he ever wants to do is play.” Remus groaned “I know your all going to show up anyways but just remember the rule, if I do anything to threaten any of you leave, run and don’t look back.” Sirius nodded despite himself they both knew it was a lie, they both knew none of them would ever leave, even if Moony did hurt them. They would never leave.

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It was the same as usual but Sirius had refused to leave his side for the rest of that day and ended up skipping all his classes that evening, it wasn’t until he was forced under the cloak with James and Peter that he left Remus’ side, instead of waiting in the infirmary as he normally did Remus said his hello’s and went right to the shack.

Once they were all in the small room, Remus looked around the shack sighing with his eyes landed on his friends, they were setting up the small bed in the corner of the room “What are you doing?” Remus eyed the with confusion, James turned to Remus with a smile “We’re making a bed for Moony.” Remus raised a brow and opened his mouth to speak when he heard a loud creak, there was someone in the shack “Shut up and get under the cloak don’t talk and don’t move.” he whispered harshly to the boys, they all nodded and made haste to hide then the cracking stopped, right in front of the door.

Remus’ blood ran cold in his veins as the smell of blood hit him there was a short knock and then the door was opening, Remus moved to stand in front of his hidden friends. It was him, he saw the claws first dripping red then his eyes racked up to meet the face that he saw in all his nightmares Fenrir Greyback the monster that ruined his father's life and cursed him to live this nightmare 

“Why if it isn’t Lyall’s little pup.” Remus could feel his skin crawl but held the man with a heavy glare “I didn’t think the rumors were true, old Dumbledore really let you in huh?” he stepped into the room slowly bringing his bloodied hand up to his mouth licking a stripe up the mess “Good thing I found you then eh?” he stepped closer a gleam in his eye, Remus kept silent unsure of his next move. “No need to be so tense, I’m here to take you home.” Remus cringed at how horse his voice sounded “Home?” Fenrir smirked showing off his razor sharp teeth and Remus felt his stomach flip “Home indeed, it’s about time you join the pack pup, you’ve been among these wizards too long I’m here to take you home where you belong.” Remus flinched “I have a home, right here.” Fenrir laughed loudly “Here? Oh you mean this little shack where they throw you away to rip yourself apart because you can’t have what you truly want what you really need.” Remus head a small gasp from behind him but kept his eyes on the man before him watching all his movements, he would die before he let him touch his pack 

“Oh don’t look at me like that, I told you I wasn’t here to hurt you.” He glanced around the room “But I can't say the same for your little pretend pack.” Remus flinched “You didn’t think I could smell that delicious mix of fear and anger? Cute little trick I’ll give you that hiding them but did you really think I wouldn’t smell them boy?” Remus whined feeling a rough clawed hand grip his face “The moon is only moments away, and if you think I won’t tear them to bits your oh so wrong.” Fenrir dug his thumb nail into Remus’ cheek his eyes following the trail of blood that slid down his cheek. “Now make the right choice pup, come with me and I let them live.” he laughed “for now.” Remus couldn’t even fully register when he saw the rat scurry across the floor of the shack until it was too late “NO!” he cried hearing the boys behind him ripping the cloak away, both boys hand their wands in hand and pointed at the larger man still holding Remus’ face “Let him go.” Remus felt the tearing in his chest, the roaring of rage at his friends, at himself but mostly at this fucking beast of a man in front of him “Oh oh the pretend pack finally shows themselves.” Fenrir eyed the two up with building interest “Well if you ask real nice boys I’ll take one of you with us.” he stared at Sirius for a long moment then back to Remus “That's your sad excuse of an alpha? A Black? Well maybe if your a good boy and behave I'll turn him for you.” a rather cruel expression fell on Fenrir’s face “Or would you rather do it yourself.” Remus growled grabbing at the wrist holding his face “Leave him out of this.” he spat his words out filled with venom unaware of glowing in his eyes, Fenrir snarled a nasty sound leaving his throat “You feel that rage, give into it be the beast you were meant to be.” Sirius’ voice lowered to a dangerous tone Remus’ had never thought the young man could ever sound like that, like a Black “The only beast is you, now I won’t repeat myself again, Let. Him. Go.” 

Everything happened so quickly that none of them could really tell you what happened not in its entirety at least, one moment everything was at a stand still and the next there was Professor Mcgonagall and two Auror apparating into the already small room, “Unhand the boy Greyback” the of the Auror had his wand pointed at the man, Fenrir slowly lowered his hand from Remus’ face then before Remus could move he was curled on the floor face bleeding crying in agony and there was fresh blood dripping from Greybacks claws “Consider that a warning, Lupin” then he was gone, the Aurors disappearing after him. 

“What in the world are you two doing here?!” Mcgonagall’s voice rang high in the ragged room as she was next to Remus as quickly as her body would allow it “This is no game boys.” she held Remus in her arms tears brimming in her bright eyes “Do you two even understand what could have happened!” Sirius would apologize later but he shouted at her with all the rage he still had boiling in his body “What could have happened?!” He threw his wand across the room “What would have happened if we weren't here! You see what he did!” James gave a sympathetic look to his friend but was now crouched to the ground running his hand through Remus’ hair “I’m gonna kill him” Sirius’ voice came out cold and hard, he strode across the room and picked up his wand, “You will do no such thing Mr. Black!” Mcgonagall shouted with a still bleeding Remus in her arms, Sirius didn’t even glance at the huddle as he strode towards the door “Sirius don’t do this!” James called after him not wanting to leave Remus’ side, it really seemed like Sirius would do it and that’s what scared him.

“Padfoot please.” Remus whined low and pathetically and that seemed to do it, Sirius composure broke he stopped and stared at the boy that was struggling to look up at him, seeing the bright yellow of his eyes and the blood all over his face, Sirius kicked the wall and screamed “Fuck this!” Remus whined pulling himself away from James and his Professor “y-you all need to leave.” Mcgonagall looked out to the window and noticed the moon beginning to rise she grimaced but nodded “Boys come along.” James sighed, “We can’t leave, I know your going to give us detention for the rest of our lives and probably report us but..” he looked down at Remus’ shaking body “We’re not leaving.” Mcgonagall looked between the two boy and heaved a sigh “We’ll talk about this in my office.” she walked towards the door and stopped “Tomorrow.” and with that she was gone, leaving the three of them to deal with the no doubt risky night ahead.

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“That could have gone worse, honestly.”

“Oh yeah? How exactly could that have gone worse James!”

“Well…”

“If you even try to finish that sentence I swear on Merlin's existence I will not hesitate to break your jaw.”

“Jeez calm down.”

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down after what happened!” Sirius and James had been having a whispering fight with one another for almost two hours with Peter shushing them every time they raised their voices “Will you two give it a rest? You’ll wake Moony at this rate.” James and Sirius stopped dead in their tracks to look down at their friend lying in the white bed, Sirius quickly looked away he hadn’t been able to look at the young man's face for too long or the memory came back hot and fresh in the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t let his anger get the best of him right now he needed to be calm when Remus woke up.

The three sat in silence for a while till they heard the curtain being drawn none of them even moved expecting it to be Madam Pomfrey, but when Lyall Lupin stepped in they all sat up the man looked broken his face tear stricken his hazel eyes staring straight ahead at his son’s unmoving body, he almost didn’t notice the three in the room with him till James cleared his throat “Sir, please have a seat.” James stood from his chair offering it to Lyall, the older man nodded sitting next to his son’s bed “I want to thank you boys.” Lyall’s voice sounded broken down compared to the man they had met almost a year ago, “I hear if it wasn’t for you three Remus would..” he choked on a sob “Would be gone” James sat next to Peter who was quick to place a hand on James’ arm rubbing it gently, Sirius was the first of them to speak “We didn’t do anything, sir.” Lyall shook his head “Nonsense-” Sirius cut him off “No, Fenrir Greyback is still out there, still a threat to Remus.” he looked down at the sleeping face of Remus and grimaced “And I let him lay his hands on Remus.” Lyall let out a soft breath and simply shook his head “Sirius was it?” Sirius nodded tearing his eyes away from Remus to look at the man across from him.

“All these things may be true, and unfortunate yes, but..” Lyall smiled at Sirius with compassion “My son is alive and here safe because of you boys.” Sirius was at a loss he didn’t know what to say. “He’s right you know.” they all looked up to see Professor Mcgonagall had come in during the conversation undetected “Now I know you boys want to stay with Mr Lupin but I need to see you all in my office now, after you may come back.”

Now all three boys sat in Professor Mcgonagall’s office “Now let me get this right.” she sighed rubbing her hand into the corners of her eyes “You three have known how long?” James looked at the two sitting next to him and nodded, “Since second year.” Mcgonagall nodded her head “And you haven’t told anyone?” James shook his head “And you won’t?” again he shook his head, “Why would we ever tell anyone, its no ones business?” Peters confused voice rose and everyone in the room looked to him and James almost thought he imagined the smile that passed over Mcgonagall’s lips, she looked down to her desk fixed her glasses then wrote out something on a sheet of parchment, she then stood up and walked over to the door opened it for them with the parchment held out for one of them to take “You three are excused from all of your classes for the rest of the day but I expect to see all three of you in class tomorrow.” they all stood from their seats and walked over to Mcgonagall taking the parchment from her and walking out of the office without a word. 

Now walking through the halls back to the infirmary James stopped “We should give his dad some more time alone with him.” Sirius nodded along with Peter “Then what do we do?” Peter shoved his hands deep in his pockets as students began to flood out of their morning classes to rush to the next Sirius kept his eyes glued to the floor as they all stood there unsure of their next move when James spotted Lily who was quickly making her way over to them, “Is he okay?” she said in a hushed tone now standing next to Sirius she eyed him nervously then turned her gaze to James who looked away “What happened why are you looking away like you killed him?” she grabbed James’ arm shaking him slightly “Look just tell me he’s okay and I’ll drop it I just want to hear he’s alright.” James looked up at Lily, she gasped “Please say he’s okay.” she let go of James moving her shaking hand up to wipe at her face, Peter bit at his lip and gently rubbed Lily’s back “He’ll be okay.” Peter said softly not even sure if he believed it at this point. Lily Evans was not present for the rest of her classes that day.

Remus opened his eyes much later that day, he let out a groan before he even opened his eyes and was greeted by a warm hand pressed gently to his cheek that he desperately hoped was Sirius, “Remus.” Remus’ eyes opened slowly “Father?” his voice was raspy as it usually was when he woke after the full moon, he let out a whine as he pulled himself to sit up “What are you doing here? What about work? Lyall smiled at his son sadly as he held his face in his hands “I left.” Lyall crocked out feeling a fresh wave of tears spill from his eyes “Dad! What's wrong what happened?” Remus placed his hand over his father’s hoping to quell the man's sadness the motion only seemed to sadden him more as Lyall began to cry, Remus moved his body so his legs would hang off the bed and wrapped his arms around his father rubbing small circles into his back to calm him “Dad what happened? Is everything okay?” Lyall wrapped his arms around his son gently and held him “I should be the one holding you, calming you while you cry.” he laughed pulling Remus impossibly close to him, “I’m so sorry I did this to you my sweet boy.” Remus gasped making his father pull away “Did I hurt you?” Remus shook his head staring into his father's eyes only for the man to then sit back in the chair next to the bed and cover his reddening face “I’m so sorry Remus, I love you, you know that, right? I’m so sorry..” Remus stared at his father confused unsure of what to say, they sat like this till Lyall seemed to calm down and look up at his son.

“Dad please tell me what's going on are you alright?.” Lyall smiled at his son and nodded “Yes I’m just fine, I came here to see you after…” he blew out a soft breath “After last night.” Remus raised an eyebrow at his father and then it all hit him at once, Greyback the Aurors, Mcgonagall, his pack, Sirius oh gods Sirius. Remus felt his breath quicken “W-Where are they?” He looked around the room in a panic “Where?!” he turned back to his father with wide eyes like the man hadn't seen since Remus was five, fear “Who, Remus who?” he was quick to take his sons hand in his placing the other back on his face, “S-Sirius, James, Peter Where are they oh o-oh god they're okay right?” Lyall took a breath and nodded “Their okay Remus I swear, come on breath for me okay can you do that?” Remus nodded sucking in a deep breath and letting out a shaky one but it wasn’t helping he couldn’t see them couldn’t touch them didn’t know if they were really safe, he began to shake his head “N-No need to see..” he broke off into a fit of coughs, he felt like his throat was closing couldn’t breath couldn’t talk he needed them, he needed Sirius.

“No Potter you can’t stand on your broomstick and fly it, you dunce you’ll fall right off.”

“I hate to say she’s right Prongs but I’d still love to see it.” 

“Har Har you’d just love to see me bust my ass wouldn’t you.” 

“Yeah actually.” Sirius laughed as they stepped into the infirmary they had all been there an hour prior but they were checking in almost every hour on the hour waiting for Remus to wake, sometimes stopping in to make conversation with Lyall and keep him company but mostly to see Remus. When Remus heard the familiar laugh of his friends he rushed from the bed and tore open the curtain he was soon met with concerned eyes from his friends, he would hate himself for this later but he choked out a loud sob and ran into Sirius’ arms. “Remus?! Are you alright?” Sirius held the boy tight to his chest his free hand pulling out his wand a bit faster than anyone else was comfortable with, like he was used to it. Lyall soon emerged with a soft look on his face,and Sirius dropped his wand he was about to ask what had happened when he heard Remus struggling to breath and immediately knew what was happening, Madam Pomfrey was rushing to the boys with a potion in her hand and an order on her lips that quickly died on the tip of her tongue as she and everyone else watched Sirius with wrapped attention. He brushed his fingers thought Remus’ hair slowly shushing him as his stuttering breaths lessened “Shh Moony, I’m right here.” Sirius had his other hand running along Remus’ back and his nose was pressed into the space between his shoulder and neck, “Padfoots here, and right behind me is Prongs yeah?” Remus nodded “And next to him is Wormtail, and Evans.” Remus nodded again his breath finally coming out albeit uneven but at least now he was breathing.

Remus slowly pulled himself away from Sirius when his breathing was back to somewhat normal, his eyes were heavy and he felt dizzy but now he was calmer knowing they were okay, he looked up to Sirius for a moment before dropping his head back to the others shoulder and closing his eyes, Sirius kept him there for a moment letting Remus relax before he assured him back to his bed “Come on Moons, back to bed, you need to rest.” Remus nodded and walked back with a hand clutching Sirius’ jacket, it wasn’t until he was back in bed that they heard a sharp intake of breath and soft cry Remus looked to Sirius and tilted his head “is that Lily?” Sirius bit his lip but nodded “She’s just happy to see your okay, now lie down, you can talk to her later okay?” Remus let out a soft breath and nodded crawling into bed, Sirius took a breath looking back at everyone who had just watched him. He felt heat rise in his cheeks but could feel embarrassed later, he took a step away from the bed only to be stopped by a hand poking out from under the blanket that seemed to be latched onto his jacket, Sirius felt his heart leap in his chest but turned his head to look to Remus’ father to find him smiling at them, “It seems I’ve left my boy in good hands.” Sirius looked back to the sleeping boy holding his jacket and smiled sadly “Yeah..”

As Remus slept just outside of his small bed James had his arms wrapped tightly around Lily as he walked her out into the hall “Oh James, what did he do to him.” she cried burying her face in his chest, James placed a soft kiss to the crown of her head and let her cry, he didn’t need to answer no answering would only make it worse for her “Why, Why does it have to be like this? Isn’t this enough?” She looked up at James her green eyes overflowing with tears “I love him so much James” he sucked in a breath feeling hot tears pricking at his own eyes “I know, I love him too.” She sucked in a ragged breath “What if he comes back? What if he hurt you? Or Sirius of gods forbid Peter?” she sobbed pressing her forehead on James’ shoulder, he moved his hand into her hair and shushed her softly “You know as well as I do none of us are going to let anything like this ever happen again.” James’ voice cracked as he continued “He can come back if he likes, but if he does he won’t be leaving. I’m not letting him lay a hand on anyone, I’m not letting anyone hurt the people I care about anymore.” he held her tighter to his chest and in that moment Lily realized two things, One James Potter was not the obnoxious toe rag she thought he was, and two she really, really liked him quite a bit.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The second time Remus woke up it was to a sleeping Sirius in the chair next to his bed, they were alone and the position he was in look unfairly uncomfortable “Sirius” Remus reached out shaking his shoulder as he sat up slowly “Come on Pads wake up.” He sighed rolling his eyes when the boy only rolled his head back “Padfoot wake up of your gonna hurt yourself.” He grabbed Sirius’ hand and shook his arm causing the young boy to stir “Uh oh good gods my neck.” He whined pulling his head up staring at Remus with wide eyes “Wheres my dad?” “He uh was sent and urgent owl and had to floo back to work, but Moony, how are you feeling?” Remus took his hand back and looked down in shame “Embarrassed that everyone saw me like that, and curious why Lily was crying.” Sirius looked down his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck “She uh..” he coughed glancing up at Remus then back down “She saw your face.” Remus huffed “Oh jeez am I really that busted this time around?” Sirius bit his lip but nodded “How bad?” Sirius wanted to tell him he looked fine, tell him he was still handsome that he would never be anything but perfect but he knew as soon as Remus saw his face he wouldn't believe him, Remus quickly got out of the bed and rushed off to the small bathroom on the other side of the room, Sirius wanted to stop him but… but he would find out eventually better to rip the plaster off now.

There was a long moment of silence that almost hurt, Sirius stood from the chair and walked to the bathroom, not even bothering to knock he opened the door to fine what he thought might be the most heartbreaking thing he’d ever seen. Remus was staring at the mirror running the tips of his fingers across the scars that now encompassed a large part of his face, Sirius could see the hurt in his eyes when tears spilled from his eyes and slid over the rigged scars “Remus.” Sirius’ voice was soft as he stepped into the bathroom, Remus covered half of his face with his hand, leaving the slightly less unscarred half visible “Now I even look like a beast.” Sirius was quick to snach Remus’ hand from his face and force the boy to look at him “Don’t you dare say that about yourself, ever again you’re beautiful.” Remus could only nod as he pulled his hand away from Sirius, walking past him back to his bed he stopped before pulling back the curtain looking back at Sirius sadly “You shouldn’t say that when you can hardly even look at me anymore.” 

The rest of the year had gone by in a flash for everyone who was blissfully unaware of the attack that had taken place on the night, Remus had begun to pull away from everyone, like all the time they spent together meant nothing. But it seems despite everything the year had come to an end leaving the Marauders at a loss for what to do, they had written Lyall Lupin with a proposal to come see Remus during the full moon but the man had refused and reassured them his home was being guarded by 24/7 Auror protection, this did nothing to soothe their fear but there was nothing they could do now but come see the boy after the full moon and continuously reassure him that there was nothing in this world of any world that would make them leave, not now, not ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed it so far, comments are always welcome!


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